Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

relationship help

9 replies

help1988 · 14/07/2020 01:36

hello. i have name changed and posting in aibu for traffic. a male family member has been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a few years. he is coming to the realization that he might need to leave his partner, but they have two children together (one still very young - he did not want a second but she threatened to kick him out if he didn't agree to try). they are not married. he adores the children but has no idea what to do. he has a full time job and pays their mortgage and bills (she doesn't work). he is worried about what he would need to pay in child support if he left the relationship (he obviously wants to support the children and see them). he is also worried about whether he will still be forced to pay the mortgage etc. he is scared she may be spiteful about these things. she has family support who have helped her financially in the past, but he doesn't.

i don't know much about this so no idea how to advise him, other than to contact a solicitor.

OP posts:
snitzelvoncrumb · 14/07/2020 01:47

He needs to contact a solicitor, they will help him come up with a plan. If he can he should try and put some money aside so when he leaves the mum will have access to some money for the first few weeks.

GinDaddyRedux · 14/07/2020 03:50

Solicitor.

Anordinarymum · 14/07/2020 04:19

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

help1988 · 14/07/2020 04:25

not sure what there is to 'buy' about it? he's in an abusive relationship and wants to get out. i have no idea how this is supposed to work. he can't afford to move out and rent somewhere and still pay their (high) mortgage if she wants to stay in their current house.

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 14/07/2020 04:28

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

help1988 · 14/07/2020 04:37

DFOD. i'm a genuine poster, name changed for the nature of the post. my family member is in a bind. oh, and thanks for the TAAT. it's late at night because I'm up worrying about him while he chats to me on whatsapp. why on earth would i start this kind of thread for entertainment?

his partner told him initially she only wanted one child and they agreed this was best. then she did a u turn, he didn't want to, and this started a rift. eventually she told him she'd have a second child with someone else if not him, and refuse him access to his son if he tried to leave.

OP posts:
NiteWotcha · 14/07/2020 04:54

please do not troll-hunt
have hidden messages that seem to be doing that

thanks Flowers

NiteWotcha · 14/07/2020 04:55

have also hidden the TAAT

help1988 · 14/07/2020 04:59

thank you @NiteWotcha

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page