Some expressions I love

[questionzzz]

"Chance would be a fine thing"- just read that in another post- but here are some more - please tell me your favourite expressions, from UK or elsewhere

I don't feel these are cliche- I love hearing them and using them :)

"I haven't fallen off a turnip cart"- a new one I heard recently- from my adopted region
"She shit a brick"
"Cut off your nose to spite your face"

Argh have forgotten a couple of others that were knocking around my brain...

She’s so uptight,you couldn’t pull a needle out of her arse with a tractor

She's not green as she's cabbage-looking: said of the faux-naif

You don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire: copping on to a sexy minger

Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs: amazement

I was playing Hamlet: seriously annoyed to point of madness

Think on: self-explanatory - My dear dead dad

Coming down like stair-rods: indicates the ferocity of rainfall. An image that will be lost to us soon. Rather in the way my students who think jet-black is black because the aircraft are black.

Sweating balls of kite string: extreme effort/panic.

As tight as gnat's chuff: very very mean.

Flat as a witch's tit: Norfolk.

And in the way of my adopted homeland: Roos loose in the top paddock: bonkers

Ordinary: This indicates stoicism in the face of utter shite.

I'm farting fire (French) to say you're feeling great.

My Dad always use to say "I didn't get where I am today by being somewhere else" in that 'there was 18 of us in a shoebox' kind of voice. Love it

I love ‘catch yourself on’, but only if said by an Irish person.

"Black as a witch's hat" - referencing storm couds or a very dark night

"Her/his wits have gone wool gathering" - one who is not thinking clearly

"Only dead fish go with the flow" - don't follow convention or the herd mentality

"Facta non verba" - deeds, not words

Storm clouds, not couds!

Sorry I got caught up in other stuff, here;s one I heard today, in a work meeting!

"She gave me the hairy eyeball"

isn't that beautiful? I had never heard it before- the speaker isn't from these parts.

I love all those above! What does "flat as a witch's tit" refer too- actual description of a flat-chested lady? or like an expression of disappointment, as in "the party/soda/cake was as flat as a witch's tit"? Either way, lovely :)