They were away somewhere, just for a short break, and just forgot. They've had a lot of worries (and still do) and this was a nice break for them. They didn't send a card or gift for DD in advance or call on the day or acknowledge it in any way. DD is 9. My kids are their only niece and nephews and we generally between us make abit if a fuss for our kids birthdays with video messages etc. DD didn't notice, she got to see her friends and she had plenty of other presents and cards so it all rolled into one. Now DB and SIL want to phone her up to apologise for missing her birthday.
I don't think it's big deal and would rather it was just left. DD didn't notice. They obviously were enjoying a well deserved break, which I don't begrudge them for a second, but why would you want to then make a big fuss of apologising to a 9 year old for missing her birthday 3 days ago? Surely she will then be aware that she was a low priority for them all along and no one want to hear that? She won't fully understand why their minds were elsewhere and she's a bit of a sensitive child so might then feel overlooked. I struggle to see what DD will gain from this, surely it's just to make the forgetful adults feel better?
I've asked them to not bother and we'll arrange a meet up over the summer as we usually would.
YABU let them apologise
YANBU if they apologise it's purely for their own benefit.