My parents separated when I was 3.
My Dad was physically abusive and so my mum left.
Dad didn't bother with me much, i barely saw him. He would make promises to come and see me but just wouldn't show or would cancel.
When I was 16 my mum met her now husband.
From the onset he didn't like me. No particular reason other than what I think is because he's from a different culture, different upbringing.
They had only been together 6 months before they married.
Shortly after he told my mum he didn't want to live with me anymore.
Mum made the decision to kick me out of my home. I was a week away from my 17th birthday.
I was at college, didn't have a job and had nowhere to go.
I came home form college one day, the doors were locked and my things had been left in the garden. I was banging on the door asking to be let in and my mum told me to go to a hostel.
I called my dad and he said he had nowhere for me to go.
With the help of my friends mum I moved into a shared house with two complete strangers.
I didn't speak or hear from my mum for 6 months.
After this time through family she contacted me and we met.
It was made clear to me I wasn't allowed in her house and she wasn't able to tell her husband she was meeting up with me.
However she had currently got her husbands sister and nephew living in her house.
Over time she began to tell him we were meeting and I started to go to her house for coffee / lunch when he wasn't home.
I found a full time job and moved into a flat of my own - no more house share.
I went to university, got a degree and now work as an accountant.
I met a wonderful partner and 4 years ago we got married.
My Dad was invited, he RSVP'd but never showed, I haven't spoke to him since.
I still very rarely go to my mums house.
To this day I still have days where I cry about what I went through. I hate myself a lot.
I don't feel good enough for anyone including my husband.
I have lots of lovely friends but always wonder why they are friends with me.
I feel like I need to have to best of everything to prove I'm worth anything.
I feel unlovable and I have very little self esteem.
Some days I wonder, do I just feel sorry for myself? And other days I wonder - have my parents just ruined my life.
If the two people who created you can't love you, then who else can or will.....