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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband

15 replies

Apricot1234 · 13/07/2020 21:00

When my mat leave was over a month ago I got the choice from working at home or coming into work.

I decided to work at home only if husband agreed to look after LO on Mondays. I was told I just needed to come in on Mondays (husband has day off from work) to complete tasks that cannot be completed from home.

He said he will feed etc.

Today is the third Monday. I got to work for 6am. I had lots to do. I worked from 6am to 4pm with no break and I worked through my lunch break.

  • Yesterday I made lunch to take for today but my husband came home late last night and said he was hungry so I gave him my lunch. The morning was a rush so I couldn't make anything to eat.

I come home and the house was a big mess. I had to take a shower first before cleaning.

I told husband to feed LO. It was her feeding time. I had my shower came down and he was playing with her and said oh she isn't drinking. Sounded strange because her last feed was 4 hours ago.

I gave her the bottle and she started drinking.

He put dinner in the oven. He just puts anything he can find in the kitchen together and calls that dinner.

I ask him if has fixed the cot for LO bedroom (which he promised) but says no. He says I will do it now in 5 mins.

It went over an hour. LO was getting restless and I was trying to entertain her.

He randomly comes down and says where is my dinner. I said you never said you were done.

I quickly try to tidy up. The room was a big mess.

He brings his dinner to the table and just starts to eat. I was talking to him but he didn't reply.

So it doesn't escalate I sit down to eat too. I was talking to him but he continued to ignore me. I asked him what was the problem and he ignored again. I got up.

Went and did food shopping for LO.

Came back and washed the dishes.

He has gone to the bedroom and I'm downstairs with LO. Still not talking.

Did I do something wrong?

OP posts:
Apricot1234 · 13/07/2020 21:01

Oh my sorry for thr long post and sorry for any mistakes. I'm so tired.

OP posts:
Rumbletumbleinmytummy · 13/07/2020 21:03

Not that I can tell. He sounds like hes being a bit of an arse btw

Coronabegone · 13/07/2020 21:07

You're both over tired, it happens with a little one. Don't try to make your house pristine, just do what's necessary.

Coronabegone · 13/07/2020 21:07

You're both over tired, it happens with a little one. Don't try to make your house pristine, just do what's necessary.

Apricot1234 · 13/07/2020 21:15

@Rumbletumbleinmytummy thank you for the reply.

I know we are both tired but I tried to talk to him and he still ignored. I think he is being an arse too.

OP posts:
Apricot1234 · 13/07/2020 21:16

@Coronabegone thank you for the reply. Floor had not been vacumed and LO was crawling and picking up dust. I just wanted to hoover and wipe down the floor.

OP posts:
Coronabegone · 13/07/2020 21:19

That's not good @Apricot1234 , I agree, but honestly sometimes we all just get so bloody tired we can't think straight!

Discuss it again in the morning, when hopefully you're both a bit refreshed.

Thehop · 13/07/2020 21:20

I can’t see anything he should feel but guilty for being so lazy

Nicknacky · 13/07/2020 21:23

I’m reading that but I don’t see what he’s done wrong?

RedskyAtnight · 13/07/2020 21:23

So is it like this every Monday, or was today just a bad day?

If this was a SAHM posting saying that her husband had come home from work and complained about what she had or hadn't done, everyone would be posting that looking after a baby is a full time job, and she shouldn't feel bad that the house was bit messy.

Seasiderabbit · 13/07/2020 21:47

It sounds to me like you are doing everything and he is lazy. He is being unreasonable. He should pull his weight.

Nicknacky · 13/07/2020 21:49

Eh? He has had the baby all day, made dinner, fixed furniture and yet he hasn’t pulled his weight? He has done more than I did today and I have two kids!

1Morewineplease · 13/07/2020 21:55

You aren’t singing from the same hymn sheet.
Your set up sounds complicated.
And you do separate shopping for your little one?

MsVestibule · 13/07/2020 21:55

I come home and the house was a big mess Really? How bad can it get in one day?

I honestly can't work out what either of you have done wrong. Just talk to him once your baby is in bed. Can you normally communicate reasonably well?

2155User · 13/07/2020 21:57

You're moaning because the house wasn't tidy when you came back from work?

Bloody hell. No wonder he doesn't want to talk.

You're both tired, just try and get a good nights sleep and start afresh tomorrow

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