Neighbour giving my kids sweets

[sweetneighbour]

Every time my kids are playing in the garden my neighbour gives them sweets/food over the fence. She’s a sweet elderly neighbour who lives alone in her late 70s/early 80s. I know her name, her daughter visits her and we say hello but that’s it. She’s just started giving them sweets or food for the past 2-3 months. I never see her give them this, I’m always inside and they’ll come in saying x neighbour gave them this, can they eat it? I just check for use by date/ gelatine, and just let them eat it.

She’ll give them crisps, sweets, cakes, juices. So far they’ve been in the garden since 2pm and they’ve come in with werthers original sweets and juice. I don’t know why I’m writing this tbh, what would you do?

I wouldn’t do anything apart from remind my kids to say thank you.

She's essentially a stranger to them. Whatever you'd say if a stranger gave them sweets, say that.

Sounds like your children know to check with you first, so that is good. They don’t have to eat everything all at once. It clearly makes the lady happy.

Other than the virus lurking I wouldn't have an issue as long as they brush their teeth.
Do you have the time to get to know her a little better? She sounds kind and lonely.

I'd be worried about your kids potentially getting your elderly (presumably frail) neighbour sick, tbh. Maybe remind them to keep their distance and pop a note through her door saying you're so grateful for her generosity and friendliness, and you're really glad she has such a good relationship with your kids, but that you're concerned about the risks to her seeing as they're out and about in the world and at school (or whatever) so you've reminded them to keep their distance when they're chatting to her in the garden.

Ahh that's really sweet. She's not a stranger she's a neighbour.

I wouldn't do anything either, a few sweets are not going to kill them unless she's a secret psychopathic serial killer

I'd think perhaps she's a bit lonely and trying to be kind. I would prefer my kids not be given food by someone I don't know, so I would be trying to say hello and get to know her myself.

She is your next door neighbour and well intentioned. Honestly I think I wouldn't like to upset her. Tell your children to put them into a treat box and they can have them at other times. Several of our neighbours gave my children Easter eggs this year which never happened before. I think some people are thinking of others a bit more now and she thinks she is being nice and doing a good thing. I can totally understand how irritating it must be for you.

Your kids sound sensible, and are clearly not annoying your neighbour. I'd just thank her if you happen to be outside when she got best them something, and let her continue.

My elderly next door neighbour did this when I was little. We were very fond of eachother. She took great pleasure in seeing/hearing us play in the garden and chatting to her. Since she was widowed I imagine she was pretty lonely and it was genuinely a highlight for her to see us and chat to us. My guess is your neighbour feels exactly the same way. She probably gets a lot of pleasure out of seeing your children and giving them treats. It could result in a lovely relationship between her and your children.

I wouldnt do anything except try to get to know her a little better. Just a word or two over the garden fence can make all the difference to
a lonely persons life.
She isnt a threat to them and probably seeing them reminds her of her own children. .
Remind the children of the rules about accepting things from strangers but they and you seem quite okay with the things she has been giving them. Maybe mention to her about gelatine since she maybe wouldnt think to check but otherwise it just seems like the actions of a kind person neing neighbourly.

When she first gave them something, I told them they're not allowed to eat anything that has been opened. They can only eat the food that is closed and sealed. Everything she gives them is sealed which I'm grateful for tbh.

Aww she sounds lovely. Nice neighbours are so hard to come by believe me.
It’s great your kids know to ask first, I would just make sure they say thank you and if you don’t want them to eat them on that day give them another day just store them In the cupboard. She sounds so kind

Sounds lovely. People need to be less suspicious of other's intentions. Any of us might be a lonely and old one day and this cold treatment of people is the future that we are carving out for ouselves.

She's not "a stranger ".; she's the nice old lady next door and the children have been perfectly trained to handle the situation safely.

Maybe the children could make her a nice card , you could take it round and have a little chat , get to know her.

Lucky you to have a neighbour who likes your children. Or maybe she's lucky to have such nice children next door.

An elderly man used to do this at the gym about 3 times a week! I would say thank you so much, grab whatever is was and put it in my bag and say you can have this after your lunch as a treat... by lunch my kids had forgotten about it!

@DaddyCool60 I agree with you. I’m seeing society and community become something I don’t like. We’re becoming colder and generally less trusting and caring (for valid reasons sometimes) . It makes me sad.

oh for goodness sake, your post really has irritated me. Dont be such a drama queen, let the lady enjoy your children, and just say thank you.

She sounds like a sweet old lady. Could your kids reciprocate by baking something or sending a thank you note? I'm sure it would make her day. Poor thing is probably very lonely right now.

@fairlyplump

I wouldn’t want my children eating sweets every day

Awww this is sweet. Let them accept it and just bring inside for you to see/check. Our upstairs neighbours give us cake on special occasions, our downstairs have given us treats and other new neighbours have given us wine and chips to apologise for moving in mess. I think it's so lovely and caring. It builds good feeling between people.

Omg you'd have a heart attack on my street....in just one week I saw my daughter eat multiple icelollies, a few cakes and some fruit given to the kids playing out on the green by various neighbours...my daughter also took food out to share one day...I love my street

How lovely of your neighbour. She is obviously getting great pleasure from seeing your children outside playing and wants to be a friendly neighbour. She is giving them sealed food and your children are checking with you first so i don't understand what the problem is - doesn't sound like she's a child abuser trying to lure your children away/into her home - but I'm sure you've covered that aspect of safety with your DCs anyway. She's just trying to be a friendly neighbour. Maybe make an effort to be a friend back. I'm still in touch with my childhood neighbours ( one of whom similarly used to give me ice lollies, teach me woodwork in the shed and his wife used to let me help with baking). So sad that everyone is so suspicious of everyone these days.

If its becoming a regular occurrence and you don't want your kids eating so many sweets then get a tin to store them in and they'll learn not to eat them all as soon as they've been given and they'll enjoy choosing some at the weekend or whenever.
Other than that I can't see any issue.

I think it's nice. Your child sounds very sensible checking with you first. Remind her to always check with you and to remember to say thank you.