Tips on ending friendships

[Verity35]

I often find myself in toxic friendships. I have low self esteem and am a people pleaser which turns into being a doormat. I find it hard to stick up for myself (working in this).

Any tips on a) sticking up for yourself and b) ending friendships where you feel it’s a chore meeting up rather than something you look forward to. I’m actually worried about lockdown easing as I’m using this as an excuse not to see or do anything.

I don’t make friends easily and I’ve noticed the really clingy people are so easy to make friends with! So I end up with clingy and needy people but I like my space (being an introvert)

Hi Op I found having DCs made me less forgiving and less of a push around these days I openly speak my mind without a care for whom I upset etc not a good thing 🤣

But on a serious note if your finding the friendship is causing you more harm than what it's worth just kindly say to your friend I'm sorry but I think we are at different stages of our lives and no longer have any common interests to keep the friendship going, or you could just ignore and any offers to arrange to meet up always say you can't make it until they gradually get the hint and stop bothering.

It's really difficult if you find it hard to say no I'm similar to yourself prefer my own company these days much easier when your not having to keep everyone else pleased all the time.

Thanks @2beautifulbabs I don’t think I’m able to be openly honest about not seeing them. In the past when I’ve said I’m busy one particular person kept messaging me! She didn’t get the hint. Even when I was as blunt as I could be and said I’m very busy and will contact her when I’m able to she still didn’t stop bothering me. I made so many excuses that a normal person would understand that I don’t want to see her. In the end she kept doing small awful things and I just got angry and ended the friendship. I wish I could have ended it in less of a dramatic and stressful way (first and only time I’ve actually as an adult had a fight with a friend)

Just do the slow fade.

If they text you about meeting up, ignore it for a couple of days, then reply with "sorry, I'm busy that day."

You'd be amazed how people will stop trying very quickly when the effort is all on them.

Does this friend live close by? Could you block number? Unfortunately it is really hard to tell them enough is enough and it does take a lot of guts to be able to say I'm annoyed with you or I just don't want to be friends anymore hopefully someone else will be along to offer more advice and tips than I can offer to help you out

Ever heard of ghosting 😂

Don’t think ghosting would work on some people I’ve been friends with in past!