I feel like I can't cope anymore

[WornOut346]

I feel like the worst parent in the world. I have an almost 3 year old and a 6 month old. My dp returned to work recently and I'm working from home part time. I'm just at the end of my tether. I keep losing my temper at the toddler, I feel like I'm not giving either of the kids enough attention, the house is a mess and I'm struggling to hold things down with work. There isn't one thing I am doing well right now and I just feel sick with guilt.

Is anyone else doing as bad a job as me? I feel so sorry for my kids, they deserve better than this.

waves at OP you took the words right out of my mouth!!

I am SAHM to a 10 year old, 7 year old, 3 year old and 10 month old twins. Absolutely run ragged.

DH is working as usual and I spend all my time wishing he was here, then biting his head off about absolutely nothing when he is!!

Acknowledging that you are feeling/behaving like this is the first step to solving it. Don't beat yourself up, but try to take a deep breath and count to 10 before you react to the kids.

Do you have any family support? Local friends?

for us both.

What is your job and are you able to shuffle your work hours so you can do some once your DP is home? What does DP do when they get home from work?

I think you need to be kinder to yourself. Be honest, is the house dirty or is it just toys that can be quickly tidied away? Involve the 3yo in tidying like a game, put music on and see if they can sort their toys like they would be expected to do at nursery. Even if they only bring one or two things to you, lots of praise and well done.

What sort of activities does the 3yo have to amuse themself with while you work? Jigsaws, building blocks etc.

Can DP have flexible working to allow them to be at home 1 or 2 days to give you uninterrupted work time?

Wow stillcounting, how are you still standing! I can't even cope with two! I do have friends local, but to be honest I feel so ashamed I've been avoiding seeing them. I just feel inadequate. I can relate to taking it out on my dp, he has been very patient though. Unfortunately his job isn't flexible. Technically mine is but clients have been very difficult and not at all accommodating. I think I probably returned to work too quickly, but I work for myself and didn't want to risk losing too much work.

I guess the house isnt dirty, just messy and cluttered. I try to involve ds in tidying up but he's very reluctant. He has lots of toys to amuse himself with but tends to want me to join in all the time. We suspect he has some additional needs and were referred for some assessments in January but that's all on hold now.

I don't want to minimise what you are going through, but I'd say it's typical of anyone in this position.
Mine are much older and I've still had a few moments wfh.

Give yourself a break.

Really take it back to basics, fed, watered, changed, work and everything else has to wait.

You're doing amazing coping with all that. A bit more CBeebies is not going to harm your children. They'd rather a happy mum than a frazzled one. Do you get any time to yourself to recharge?