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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Birthdays

1 reply

Menora · 13/07/2020 10:39

I would like some objective advice

What is the general etiquette for your own birthday? Re the celebration and presents.

I am a single parent with 2 teen DC (dating someone for a few months).

I have a big birthday coming up and my family have been asking me what I am doing for it and what gifts I would like.

I have had to do a lot of searching and sending a lot of specific direct links and photos, at their request, because they say my suggestions were too vague, even though I have said I do not mind what I am gifted (grateful for any gifts if people choose to give them)
I am not a fussy person with fussy tastes. I even said I don’t mind no gifts or even a handmade gift.

I was not particularly keen to throw myself a party even before lockdown happened, so nothing was planned or organised even though I had considered it might be a nice family get together, I could not afford to do this and all the work involved by myself would be stressful.

As it approaches, It is clear to me that my family are expecting me to host my own party, at my house and expense for my own birthday and choose all my own presents (without knowing the budget they have in mind) and are waiting my invitation. But it has to be on a particular date.

The person I am dating wants to take me out for the day on the same date, they are planning the day out and haven’t asked me for a list of gifts or my input which is much less stressful and more spontaneous.

This feels a little as though I would be choosing to spend the day getting spoiled with a new boyfriend, over hosting my family. He’s offered to move the date of the plans to another time but he’s gone to effort already, so I don’t think he should.

WIBU to choose the day out planned by someone else over hosting my family for my birthday?

OP posts:
Isitbedtimeyet4 · 13/07/2020 10:47

I wouldn’t say it’s unreasonable at all! If you think they’ll be upset they won’t see you then just say DP has planned a lovely day out but how about we do dinner on X day? Minimal planning required for dinner, you could even book a table somewhere so that you don’t have to do anything! Happy birthday (soon) OP! Flowers

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