To be devastated because my granny will likely never meet any child I have...

[grannygranny123]

I'm 18. My granny raised me because my own mother had me young, and I love her more than anything on earth, but she's quite old (80) and it really upsets me that she probably won't meet any children I have.

I'd never have a child before being secure financially because I remember what it was like living with my mother when we had nothing and everything we did have was spent on alcohol, or stuff whoever her boyfriend at the time was wanted.

Still, it's really been breaking my heart recently. I wish that everyone could meet my granny-- I've never ever met anyone else like her.

My father died a year before my DD was born. The one thing I wish? That I had some videos of him on my phone to show her. You may be right that she'll never meet any DC you have, but you can create some things to pass down so at least they can in some way, know her.

She sounds lovely. I never met any of my grannies. My father never lived to meet my husband or my daughter. I'm afraid this is one of the things where you need to take a deep breath and endure. You never know though. She might surprise you.

I had four great nans, and TBF I never got to a age old enough to really pay attention before they died, it was all about my Nans. I think its a little extreme to be so devastated given the natural course of life spans, unless your family all have children very young. You never know what life is going to throw at you, nothing is guaranteed not even that your children will even meet their some of their actual grandparents as mine have. Try not to overthink this and enjoy your relationship with your gran while you can.

My granny was 64 when I was born. I didn't have children until I was in my 30s - and she met both of them. She died at 98.

My father, on the other hand, died aged 44, and would have been horrified to meet any of the children of his 13 year old daughter!

Your granny sounds wonderful and much loved. Enjoy her, enjoy your life and don't think about the future because none of us really know what it will bring.

My beloved grandmother died a couple of years ago. We were very close - she lived nearby and I saw her every day, plus she looked after me my whole childhood. I’d always imagined her being in my children’s lives but she died before I even had a chance to think about it. It’s really strange to think my future children will never know her, but I’m going to tell stories about her and remember her just as I’ve always heard stories and memories about my great grandparents and other relatives long gone, many I’ve never met but have seen so many photos of and heard so many things about.
It’s upsetting to think about OP but I’m sure you will do the same for your granny. In the meantime cherish every moment you spend with her - it sounds like you do already - and always be so grateful for having known her. If she never gets to meet your children just make sure you tell them all about her - they’ll soon learn how special she is.

Personally yes I get why you are sad, buts it’s not unusual or tragic that your grandparents may not meet your future children. I say that as someone who lost grandparents and both parents by my early 20s.

Well that means your Granny had your mum at a very late stage - 42 plus?

So it's swings and roundabouts - she got to live without children ? much longer

Most people never meet their great grandparents so it's really not unusual

It’s a really difficult thing to come to terms with. I have no relationship with my mother and my dad died before I had my daughter. It’s awful. I’m so sorry.

Try to remember she’s in you, and that passes down and you can pass on lovely ha it’s and stories. Write down everything you can x

Well she could have another 20 years in her. She may not, all you can do is appreciate the time you have with her and live your life.

You have already had much more time with her than many of us have with our grandparents.

I lost my grandmother at 5, she never knew her grandchildren as adults. My grandfather lived to see his daughter marry but didn't meet his grandchildren, he died before he was 70 which seems very sad but he very nearly died before his daughter was born leaving to small sons so in fact he was blessed to see all of his children to adulthood.

I can totally understand where you're coming from. I was very close to my grandmothers and in my head I had always pictured my nans holding my baby and my children being adored by them, just like I was. 8 years of TTC and miscarriages and both my nans are now dead. It makes me sad that I couldn't make them great nans and that any future children won't know them.

YANBU. I also adored my granny who died 6 years ago. I'm in my thirties now and pregnant with my first child, and have several times thought how much she'd have loved to have a baby in the family and how pleased she would have been for me. I've thought that when buying a house, getting engaged as well. I kind of wish I'd done those things sooner so she could have seen them but life doesn't work like that. What has helped me is to have something of her in all my big life events so I have a rose bush for her in my first house's garden, a picture of us in my room, my baby's middle name will be rose (she loved them so a bit of a theme) and it makes me feel she's still there in small ways. Anyway for now you still have her so enjoy the time you have and don't worry about the future, she'll always be with you in some way

I understand. I was all out of grandparents by 25 and I had DS last year at 30. I feel sad sometimes that I never got to take my baby to visit them and see the joy he would have brought them for myself, but I do believe there’s more to life than Earth and they will meet somewhere, sometime.
DS2 was stillborn last month and I know he’s ok because my grandparents have him now. They would have been no use to him if they were still here with me!

You sound very sensible. She did a good job. Is she in good health? My grandma is 97 now and still going strong.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who's felt this way! I appreciate her so much, every moment with her is pure pleasure.

To everyone who said it's unusual for people to meet their great-grandparents-- I agree, that's why I felt a bit silly for all this. I don't have much of a relationship with my mother though (we're trying, but it's tough when we hardly know one another), and no other family, so one my granny's gone I don't really have anyone left.

@Poetryinaction- Thank you! She's in decent health, but in the past year or two there's been increasing numbers of issues, and it seems to be snowballing a bit. She feels well though, so that's all the matters really.

I work in care and 80 is definitely not old so try not to worry about that :( I look after more people over 80 than I do under 80! She sounds like an amazing person :) and you never know you could be financially stable by the age of 22. When I was 18 I was in £10k of debt and was about to move to London to become an au pair. I’m now 20 and due my first baby next week. I’m a homeowner and in a committed relationship. We both own our new cars and have a good amount of savings. (And debt free other than our mortgage) life can change :) x