Asked him where he's going

[havanaohnana]

I was on the drive with the kids coming back from an outing and DH is leaving the house. I asked him in a neutral tone where he was going. He told me and that was that. 10 mins later I get text messages telling me I am so selfish, his mates could have heard, how dare I question where he is going.
A bit of background- we have been very up and down during lockdown and his response was we are not on good terms so why are you asking about my life.
I honestly asked it very innocently like a normal couple would. Any advice appreciated. Very down

Tell him exactly that ie “ I didn’t actually mean it to sound judgy. If we were on good terms you’d take it in jest as it was intended. That’s what couples do, no? “

He sounds like he was getting a bit too defensive. Where exactly WAS he going?

So what if anyone heard, it's a perfectly normal question. His reaction shows he's either hiding something or he's angry at you for something else. No need for it.

If you can't ask where your husband is going in neutral tones without him jumping down your throat, things must be very bad between you. That's not a normal response. Either he's spoiling for a fight or he's feeling guilty about going out, for some reason.

If this attitude is typical of him, I would want to talk about it-- how he's choosing the worst possible interpretation of things you say, almost as though you're his enemy. It's going to take work to put things right, and that's only if you're both making an effort.

I wonder what image of his marriage he wants to project to his mates, that he is the lord and master and you a submissive wee thing?