to think he could have come inside?

[5footMama]

so, COVID fearing FIL is a walking frustrating contradiction.

so, we just had our kitchen redone, and he's very interested. It's so new, we hadn't moved back into it at the time this event takes place. He's been asking for updates every few days, is an ex chippy, so likes to see other people's handy work etc

anyway, he came over to have nosy (not a problem) - taking great care to open the side gate with a glove, walking round and stood outside on the patio looking in the double doors with the expected 'oohs and ahhs'.

i asked if he'd like to come in and have little look round, I'll wait in the adjoining dining room. I'll close the door between us. And the patio doors wide open, all four windows are open.

he said "Oh no, I'd better not, it's not safe"

OK, no problem, stand outside looking in - not an issue...

We then carry on chatting and I ask him what he's been up to the past few days. Turns out, he went to a cafe, sat down inside and had lunch with MIL, spending probably 45-60 minutes in an enclosed space with other diners.

AIBU to think he could have come in and had a little wander and look around?

Maybe he was being nice trying to protect your health by not coming inside.

no. it's not that, it's because it's "against the rules" i think.

and protect my health? from what? why would he be putting anyone at greater risk by being in in an empty room? it's surley the same risk as him being stood on my patio?

But it isn't against the rules anymore? We can enter other houses provided we maintain social distancing?

Everyone has to make their own risk assessment and decisions. That's the line he's drawn.. Leave him to it.

He could have come inside and social-distanced. However, as he's been out in a cafe for lunch, you are probably safer by him not having come in.

it's just my dh is actually quite upset that his dad will go out for lunch in a public cafe, but not come inside his house to even have wander round an empty room

this is what i mean about the contradictions being frustrating. i mean i know it's up to FIL to do as he is comfortable with, but... still it;s hard to sympathise and be all "do what makes u comfortable, and that;s the right thing to do"

I thought this was going to be about something completely different. I obviously have a one track mind. 😂

So did I Milly!

There's some evidence that it's a lot easier to transmit covid indoors and that clouds of it hang around in the air longer than was previously thought. So it's entirely fair, particularly if anyone's at higher risk or has a higher chance of being infected (asymptomatically, I'm sure you'd be aware enough to quarantine if it was showing).

For a quick look around at the new room, masked would be sufficient protection for everyone involved.

But trying to shame someone for being risk averse? That's twatty, OP.

Sounds like it's not really about this. Don't you like him?

Sounds like it's not really about this. Don't you like him?

@Nosuchluck

So did I Milly!

Filthy pair! 😂

@MillyDilly @Nosuchluck me too 😂 is it wrong I'm disappointed?!

My dad is exactly like this, has been since lockdown started. The irrationality abc inconsistency are driving me around the twist

@AnnaSW1

Sounds like it's not really about this. Don't you like him?

Yes I like him. I just don't understand how it's ok for him to sit in a café which will have around a dozen or more people in it, but not step inside his son's kitchen. Which as said was empty,all windows and outside doors wide open. It is frustrating and confusing and upsetting that he acts this way. DH is very sad about it all really.