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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend acting weird

12 replies

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 12/07/2020 13:16

So I have a friend, we used to meet almost every other weekend before lockdown. Since the lockdown happened, shes got into a habit of just turning up at my door. She always used to text me if shes on her way from some where and is passing through my house. Now, she just turns up! She turned up 4 weeks into the lockdown and barged in. Without waiting for an invite. I was shocked! Made herself comfortable and said that she was low risk as she hasnt been anywhere else! I was too shocked in the beginnign and kept tellign her I ahve work to do but she ignored my hints. After having her coffee( she demanded) and an hour of her talking at me while I tried to look busy she left. She knocked on my door again, on a week day, I was working and this time I blocked her from entering my house. I said I was on a call and couldn't talk. She knocked on my door again a few days ago, she said I was in her bubble. Didnt give a choice to see if I already had someone in my bubble. I have a best friend who lives close by in my bubble! I made an excuse and said I was on the phone with work and couldnt spend time with her. She was trying to barge into my house and I had to block her again. Shes not getting any hints!!! I have informed her my son is v v nervous about CV19 and is not wanting people coming over. He lives with me so I need to be respectful of his wishes as well. But she ignores everything!! What do I do!! How do I tell her she cant just barge in?

OP posts:
Laigny · 12/07/2020 16:52

Start off by keeping your doors locked!

Bbq1 · 12/07/2020 16:56

Does she have a key to your house? She can't barge in unless you let her. Be straight and upfront. Tell her wirk, your son etc means she can't drop by atm but suggested meeting for a sd walk or coffee.

SunbathingDragon · 12/07/2020 16:58

Tell her firmly but politely and then stop answering the door.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 12/07/2020 21:29

@Bbq1 no she doesn't, she just pushed her way in! She didnt give me time to react or say anything and made herself comfortable

OP posts:
UnshakenNeedsStirring · 12/07/2020 21:31

@SunbathingDragon I did thing of not answering the door, but as I have stuff delivered, didn't want to miss any deliveries. Im just sick of making excuses. Wish she would just back off

OP posts:
Spied · 12/07/2020 21:33

"I'm really not comfortable with people coming in- sorry."

rayoflightboy · 12/07/2020 21:50

Text her and tell her the next few weeks with work are full on.

And you will let her know when you can meet.

Bbq1 · 12/07/2020 22:13

I think you are just going to have to be really straight and upfront with her. Polite but firm so she's in no doubt..it might be difficult but you have to do.it. To be honest, I can't imagine she's a great friend if she literally barges past you into your house.

Skysblue · 12/07/2020 23:02

Some people can’t take hints. How you deal with it depends if you want to keep her as a friend but if you do, try eg a text message “Hi, can I say something a bit awkward? Thing is, as a family we are trying to take social distancing really seriously, and I feel like you and I aren’t on the same page with that. Sorry to be blunt, but we do not want visitors round the house at the moment. (We do have a bubble with one person and that is the maximum we want - and the maximum we are allowed!) I can’t wait until there is a vaccine and things get back to normal, but until then please can we catch up by having walks where it is easy to stay 2m apart, instead of you dropping round... Thanks xx”

Chloemol · 12/07/2020 23:26

Can’t you look out of the window to see who is knocking, and if it’s her just shout out of the window sorry you are working?

PrudyPayntersBlouse · 12/07/2020 23:44

Text something like "Hi friend, I need to let you know that since the pandemic started, our new normal is to not have anyone come round to the house. Also as I am working from home it is important that people don't just turn up at random times. I wanted to let you know this because I'm sure I must seem a bit off, and I don't want you to take it personally! I am happy to meet you for socially distant walks or coffee out, if we are able to arrange it via text for when we are both free, as it would be lovely to see each other more."

Or something.

I'm not wonderful with social stuff but she cannot behave like that.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 13/07/2020 18:40

Thanks guys, I will try to be direct, see how she takes it

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