Who gets the lie in?

[coffeeforone]

We have two preschoolers who wake up at 6. During the week we both wake up at 6 every day, one of us works while the other takes care of the kids (alternating as we both work full time)

Weekend arrangement is that we each have a lie in one day (until around 9.30). Kids sleep though 99% of the time as the did on Friday night. However last night we had a terrible night, with our youngest teething and not sleeping. He screams really loud or will be quiet in our bed between us but awake and climbing all over us. Neither of us slept a wink all night one of us took him downstairs at 4am while the other person slept (their turn for a lie in). Should they have still slept right until 9.30, or woke up at 7.30/8 to give the other a few hours? sleeping past 9.30 isn't really an option as we have a lot on and need to work.

It’s tricky but the person who didn’t get a lie in today did get one yesterday ... I understand why the person whose turn it was today would sleep as usual. Can the other have an afternoon nap?

Presumably the person who got up had their turn for a lie in yesterday? So it’s fair for them to get up.

Personally In Our house person due lie in Would still get it and then other parent would get an afternoon nap

In my house its the job of the "on shift" parent to wake the "lie in" parent when they need backup (with at least a coffee, and toast if they're feeling generous), so on mornings where the early shift starts at 6.30, the sleeper may get to go til 9... at 4.30am mornings the sleeper would be lucky to get to 8. It may not exactly be "fair" in terms of hours slept, but it is in terms of time spent watching Peppa at the crack of dawn.

The lie in person should have got the whole lie in.

The person who didn’t sleep in today got one yesterday so the person who’s lay in today should get there full time to 9.30.

Yes afternoon nap is the best option here

Turns are turns. No doubt it will work the other way round too.

"Presumably the person who got up had their turn for a lie in yesterday? So it’s fair for them to get up."

Yes this is correct, thanks for the responses. I'm the one who got up at 4 (after no sleep!). I suppose you're all right - just feeling a bit hard done by!

No chance of an afternoon nap today unfortunately as we need have people coming over and I need to work later.

@Itsarattrap

Turns are turns. No doubt it will work the other way round too.

This. Presuming you're the one who got up this morning and now feel hard done by? Tbh I don't really get the whole "lie in" thing once you have kids. Although we had dogs before kids and always got up at 5 to walk them anyway, so it wasn't a big adjustment. Having young kids is a doddle when it gives you an excuse for an afternoon nap too

Whoever is most tired gets to sleep

In our house, you would have been allowed to go back to sleep at 7 for a few hours

The lie in person should still have got the lie in. The tables will turn at some point, and they'll be the one having to get up extra early while the other gets the much appreciated lie in. It will balance over time

Go to bed early tonight. Youll feel most benefit doing it that way.

No way would I sleep until 9.30am if the other parent had been up since 4am! That's really mean. I'd get up at 7 so they could go back to bed for a couple of hours. Doesn't matter what happened yesterday, you both need to function today.

At the moment I am prioritised for lie ins as my milk supply tends to suffer if I don’t have enough sleep, but I imagine things will be more equal when DS is older and your arrangement sounds fair. Sorry you woke up at 4am but you need get a lie in yesterday. I think if you’re really tired though you should get a nap in - am sure your guests will understand.

@wnikat I'm with you on that one.