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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if it mattered then it matters now?

2 replies

Thetimehascometochange · 11/07/2020 20:19

MIL arranged to see BIL. They are quite close to us in location so we suggested she came here to stay before she went to see them - not arriving in the area any sooner than she had originally planned. The counter suggestion by them was that MIL stays with us midweek (tho we are working and BIL and SIL are both furloughed) which would obviously mean bouncing between locations mid trip. We said no. Their next suggestion was that MIL comes to us afterwards (lengthening her trip) on the grounds that It was now important that she could then fully bubble with them - tho we could still host them for a meal before she stays there. We again had to say no because we had other plans for the weekend after. It was finally arranged that we would meet for a walk today and dinner here tomorrow with full social distancing. Except when we arrived today MIL (and SIL to a lesser degree) totally failed on social distancing standing right next to us repeatedly and demanding hugs from DC. Am I right to be a bit confused at the massive contradictions in their rational for trying to change the dates? Social distancing didn’t matter, then it does, and today it didn’t again, as well as we can come anytime other than that you have suggested.

I suppose writing all this out made me wonder if they just didn’t want to come here but considering the last two times MIL came to stay she unilaterally decided she was staying 3/4 days longer than originally discussed I am not sure that’s the case.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 11/07/2020 20:33

I agree things are contradictory. But I think since you ultimately got your way after rejecting all their alternate suggestions, you can be sure that they really did want to see you. However, in their shoes, I would be wondering if you really wanted them to visit? Because it was come to yours first or a flat no.

AIMD · 12/07/2020 07:13

I wonder if they just didn’t want to change their plans to suit you? Sounds like BIL had a plan with MIL and then you wanted to change their plans to fit in with you and rejected all their suggestions. Maybe they just felt like pushing back and keeping to the plans they wanted?

I think a lot of people, especially close family, are failing at social distancing.

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