To have not made much effort lately

[Archie1989]

So my husband has been off with me today, and finally came out with his problem. I haven’t been making an effort with my looks since lockdown. And do you know what? I don’t completely care. When I did make an effort, it’s not like I got complimented.

We are both working from home with no childcare, no family help etc, we have a 20 month old son, who I do the night shift with (he’s not a great sleeper). Then I have to start work at 7am to trying and do my hours, so he can do his hours too. I am just about treading water with every aspect to keep things going. The place is a mess, I am trying to hold on to my job. And now I’m apparently a slob.

Meh

OP--- hair which is fuzzy round the edges? How could you have let things get so bad? No man could love such un-straightened hair chaos and is fully within his rights to ensure you know your terrible error. Busy with childcare is no excuse. A woman must never let her hair egdes become fuzzy.

Find a time tomorrow when he is just about to do something for himself. Something he really wants to watch in tv, or another activity he likes ......ideally pick a time when DS is especially hard work and grouchy. Hand him over, lock yourself in the bathroom for a full on pamper session. This should last a minimum of an hour or two, so take a book and a glass of wine. Maybe some chocolate too.
Make sure the vitally important hair straightening gets done next. Swan back downstairs looking all perfect
I’m sure OH will be delighted

I realise some relationships are based more on superficial stuff like this but I'd tell my DH to fuck off in no uncertain terms in your shoes.
And may I ask who says your baby does not settle for your DH? Is it DH? Do you express milk so DH can do the night shift? Speaking as a mother of 3 whose husband was working I appreciate that sometimes it's easier to just do it yourself but given the lockdown circumstances I don't understand why you wouldn't take the opportunity for your DH to learn how to settle dc with expressed milk. Parenting is about persistence, sticking with difficult situations because they will be best for the child / family. Your DH sounds like an arrogant piss-taker to me.

I would read between the lines here and say he is annoyed you look less fuckable and I suspect he is annoyed he isn’t getting the sec he wants.

*sex

Yanbu. I would definitely throw it back at him, ask him to have your dc for an hour when he has finished work, so you can spend time on personal grooming

I'm with you vintage.
Fuck off would be all he needs to hear.

I would walk out and book myself into a hotel spa for three nights and tell him to go fuck himself

He's a wanker. No other words for it. I also have madly curly hair and not the glossy shiny kind you see on TV, it takes me a good ninety minutes to wash, dry and straighten. To make matters worse I've just had a haircut that looks like Playmobil hair. I shared this with DH who said he thinks it looks nice, it grows quickly and worse case scenario he and DS both love Playmobil. We also take turns each night who's 'on duty' if DS 19 months wakes up. Sometimes work has been really horrific for me and he's done two nights in a row without being asked. It's not a big deal and not something I should be eternally grateful for, DS has two equal parents and I do plenty.