To ask for advice for anxiety and depression?

[NameChangedPoster]

I have been suffering with my mental health recently. I had my first panic attack over three years ago and since then I have had quite bad anxiety, specifically health anxiety. I find that around once a month the anxiety exhausts me so much that I become quite depressed and lethargic and that is how I have been this week. My sleeping pattern is completely off and I wake up so late in the day I feel that there is no point in bothering to get ready for the day and 'start' it so instead I just wait around until the evening when I can get ready for bed again. I have not told anyone I know any of this. I am a very private person and cannot even speak to my DM or best friend about this. When I have tried to in the past my DM got angry with me and told me I need to pull myself together and my best friend kind of laughed it off... So now I just pretend that I am fine or if someone picks up on my low mood I pretend I have a headache.

This has also been coupled with the realisation in the last few months, aided by previous posts I have made on Mumsnet, that my childhood had elements of emotional neglect, parentification and my DF has narcissistic tendencies. It has been very helpful to see my childhood clearly but also very painful. This still plays out to the present day as I am currently living at home. I have made some improvements because I can now identify when my DF is starting one of his manipulative 'games' so I can detach from it and that has helped me establish better boundaries. I know it's silly but I feel deep down like I can't let myself get diagnosed with depression or anxiety because I have to be the strong one in charge.

I have also just recently graduated and I am unemployed looking for jobs with self-esteem so low I feel like I'm not capable of doing any kind of job. I have found it very difficult going from the structure of university to just nothing. It has also been hard as I have gone from being around friends everyday to having no friends or support network around me. My health anxiety is currently in a bad flare up and trying to plan for the 'here and now' by applying to jobs seems impossible when my anxiety is worrying that I am seriously ill.

Sorry, I know all this sounds so helpless and passive of me and I have rambled quite a bit. I didn't quite realise how many areas of my life I am struggling with until writing this post. I just wondered if anyone has any advice?

Thank you.

Think this is v common for recent graduates never mind in COVID times which just makes things worse. Applying for jobs is a grind.

Suggest trying to structure/plan your day more.

If it weren't for COVID I'd def suggest something constructive with your time as well as job applications eg volunteering/work experience/part time job to feel less isolated? Are you fit? What would give you a sense of purpose eg couch to 5k, any walking buddies available?

If it's bad talk to your GP

@lockdownsunflowers Thank you for your reply. I have tried to add more structure to my day but I end up letting myself down and not doing it. Everyday this week I have told myself I will get up early and go for a 20 minute walk but I have failed to do so everyday.

What kind of advice are you after? I suffered from anxiety and depression for a year very badly. I also score very high on the ACE (childhood adversity scores) I was older than you. Structure helped (I was working and it was very hard to keep working). Also, anti-depressants were my life saver. I avoided them at first, but they really did get me out of a hole and made everything easier as I recovered. Oh, and a very lovely counsellor.

You really need to seek some professional help. You can have telephone appointments with the GP and I’m sure they would be sympathetic. There are lots of things that can help and you don’t need to feel like this forever. I’ve recently undergone mental health first aid training and a very useful treatment for anxiety is CBT so maybe you could talk to your GP about this

Thank you for the replies. I guess the advice I am after is just asking what others have found helpful/effective for their depression and anxiety.

I will try and pluck up the courage to speak to my GP.

Everyday this week I have told myself I will get up early and go for a 20 minute walk but I have failed to do so everyday. Be realistic! . Try "I will go for a 5 minute walk 3 times a week". You can be more ambitious later. Goodness me, I'm not depressed (at the moment), and I can't manage 20 mins exercise once a week, let alone every day.

I find it helpful to treat it like a common cold - "I feel rough, but it will get better eventually, it's a matter of sitting it out. How I feel today is my depression playing up, it doesn't mean this is what life is like for ever."

But do go to your GP and get some help. Once you've done that, not only do you get to a stage of having the energy to crawl yourself out of this pit, you are much better at seeing the early signs, and scrabbling back up before you've slipped too far.