Friend

[Yorkiee]

Hi everyone,

Just need some advice.

I have a friend and we work in the same place.

Different departments but we see each other everyday. ( When working)

Friend started talking to a guy and it got serious.

She was confused and she asked for my advice and we talked about it. Long chat.

I felt like she was more nervous about the whole process of him meeting parents etc and told her to give it a go and she will feel better once that part is over. (I'm married I felt the same things she felt so could relate)

She tells me I'm the closest person to her to talk to about all of this.

Then she said her mum said her sister needs to get married first..

All I could say was just wait your mum might change her mind..

Next minute she says to me - my sister is getting married..

She doesn't tell me about her sisters meeting up with the guy (sister guy).

I said oh that was quick.. she then said we met him he is lovely.. nothing was said about this to me.

Later I found out others know..

Then I'm last to find out she has decided to get married to the guy and her family are okay with it.

She no longer calls or texts me. I didn't see her on Friday and messaged to say hope you have a restful weekend. No replies anymore.

I'm married, have a 8 month old and working. I get busy too but I would never ever be so much busy that I can't reply to a text.

So I have decided not to message or call and I just can't be bothered.

Something similiar happened with another friend. She got married and said she is too busy to meet up and we drifted apart. I tried all my best to keep it going but no.

Now I don't want to know anything about her wedding and don't really care anymore.

Am I over reacting?

Sorry that's a long post!!

You were annoyed that she didn't tell you her sister was dating?

Noo for finding out last and her not replying anymore.

Lots of people seem to think friendship is about responding to texts/facebook/insta etc
Think it depends if they have told you they're rubbish at answering texts etc at the moment. If they're have or are apologetic for not, then that's how they are and you needing them to not miss a text or reply fast is a difference in how you see communication.
But if they say nothing, are unapologetic, and seem to find it ok to always leave you hanging then no, not ok.
Don't fall out with people you're working with, just accept that it isn't the close friendship you thought it was.

OP i have had similar and to be honest you reach a point where the other person 's reasons don't seem to matter when they are not freely offered and timely.

I now have decided to stop keeping relationships going because I pull all the weight. Let things die if that's what she seems to be going for. Friendships like relationships need reciprocity.

@Immigrantsong thank you so much for the reply! That's exactly how it is and how I feel. Feeling so much better. I will just let it die out.

@namechangedforunpopularopinion thank you for the reply. No apologising or nothing about her not being able to respond. Just sudden no more contact.