Hi everyone
Posted here for traffic.
I'm really struggling, I've struggled for years. I had a traumatic childhood resulting in me being on anti depressants since age 13. I'm now 28 and still struggling.
I can never seem to relax, even on my good days. I have to be doing something, I get terrible anxiety over the house, I have to keep everything clean and tidy at all times otherwise I feel physically ill. If I haven't got the energy to clean and tidy one day, I go to bed early evening just to get away from the rest of the house.
My DH doesn't have any MH problems at all, he finds my inability to relax irritating.
It's got 10 times worse since suffering recurrent miscarriages in the past 5 years.
I can't explain how I feel properly, it's almost like being manic. I can't have a lay in at the weekend even though I work full time all week. I get up as soon as I wake up to clean, do laundry etc.
I've had a referral to psychiatrist and I have a telephone consultation next week.
I wish I could just enjoy weekends, today I would love to lay in the garden and read my book but I keep thinking about everything else that needs doing although my house isn't dirty or messy etc.
I'm really struggling and I think this is a deeper issue than just "depression" I'm wondering if I have some form of autism or ADHD.
Any tips or suggestions I would be so grateful thanks x