Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Argumentative sister

7 replies

HP1092 · 11/07/2020 11:03

Name changed for this. I'll start by saying, I love my sister dearly. But she is starting to drive me insane. She constantly nit picks and disagrees with things I say, even over trivial stuff. I find it really tiring and it has got to the stage where I just don't respond as I can't be bothered to argue. She often belittles me for asking perfectly normally questions and acts as if it is the most stupid thing she has ever heard? She also constantly slags people off, people we know and strangers she has seen on Instagram, etc. I'm finding the negativity and competition really draining. She is pregnant (but was like this before so it isn't related) and upon finding out the gender of her new baby I congratulated her and said, "one of each, how lovely", to which she responded, "yeah, and I've had a boy first and then a girl, that's what most people want". I had a girl first and then a boy, so presume it was another of her bizarre and pointless competitive digs. 😂 As stated before, I love my sister and don't want to fall out with her but her behaviour is so draining. Does anyone have any advice on the best way to respond/deal with it? Thank you :)

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 11/07/2020 11:38

How old are you both if you don't mind me asking? Sometimes, it takes parenthood to really get to know your siblings.

I unfortunately am very low contact with one of my sisters because she's just not very nice since she became a parent.

My other two siblings and I get on fine. It IS hurtful though...because as you say, you love her...I love mine but she was making me feel bad about myself.

HP1092 · 11/07/2020 11:57

Hi @FortunesFave I'm 30 and she is 26. It is really difficult, isn't it? I'm so drained from it at the moment. On top of all this she doesn't actually seem interested in anything I have to say, and is always over talking me and cutting me off mid sentence. And has started nit picking at my kids as well as at me. Just not sure what the answer is really.

OP posts:
Sunnydayshereatlast · 11/07/2020 12:02

Next birthday get her a 7 badge...

Ponoka7 · 11/07/2020 12:02

What happens when you challenge her?

My youngest is NC with my eldest, she allows contact with the children and we've booked a holiday for next year, but she needs a break.

LadyPrigsbottom · 11/07/2020 12:02

Another one who has had to go lower contact with a sister!

She isn't a bad person. Far from it! But, we end up winding each other up a lot, she also used to criticise me, rather aggressively, for the tiniest of things. But, when we talk, I know I'm also being hurtful towards her sometime or winding her up, totally by accident.

I don't think either of us is evil, but the dynamic is a bit toxic.

We speak less now and I think it's better.

There was a point when she was being quite critical of my 5yo and that was one of the last straws for me. So, yes, I do think becoming parents can change things in lots of different ways.

HP1092 · 11/07/2020 12:06

@Ponoka7 I've stopped challenging her now as it is pointless. In the past I would challenge her and she just wouldn't let it drop and it escalates in to an argument.

Thanks for the replies everyone

OP posts:
SmudgeButt · 11/07/2020 12:35

I sometimes think that people who are so nagging and negative are trying to get the other person to start an argument. She's probably jealous of you (you're older, had single attention of parents, got to stay up/out later etc etc) and can't say that so if you kick off she can respond with the full slanging match.

Just laugh at her and walk away. That will really wind her up!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page