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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think parents should teach their dc bus ettiquette?

26 replies

katiekitty · 28/09/2007 09:50

Yesterday, got the bus home, standing room only then I noticed a woman with a buggy in the buggy zone, buggy empty and her dd (about 4/5) in a seat. Yes, the buggy was hers. The little girl was then darting about the bus between her seat and into her buggy and during one of these forays, someone sat in the seat she was taking up when she vacated it to sit in the buggy. The mother said to the seat sitter, 'that was her seat' and gave them a dirty look. They didn't budge out though. Here's my first AIBU: shouldn't the mother have seen the busy bus situation and got her dd into the buggy seat and so free up a seat for someone else?

Then, when I went to get off I felt whooosh! My dress was lifted up to its full extent by the dd, everything on show to the bus omg! This happened not once but twice! I said: "Do you mind?" and she went to do it again and the mother said to me: "She only wants to know if you're wearing socks or tights under it" wtf! My second AIBU: The dd should have been told "No! You cant do that to the lady" or something along those lines, but no, nothing like this was said. Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable to think the dd should have been told!

OP posts:

Wotzknot · 28/09/2007 10:15

YANBU her precious little girl, both of them sound horrid.

Original poster

katiekitty · 28/09/2007 10:21

Thank you Wotzknot!

OP posts:

Blu · 28/09/2007 10:27

Good grief!

In My Day, no child sat o a seat while an adult stood - we were hpisted on to Mum's lap or made to stand.

A while ago a frail old lady was struggling to get her luggage on to the rack, and i got up from my seat right n front of the rack, obviously to help her. While i was stood up - actually just leaning forward, really, a mother pushed her 10 year old dd to sit in my seat!!!!

Wotzknot · 28/09/2007 10:29

I would have been tempted to sit back down on the child's lap Blu!

Blu · 28/09/2007 10:31

LOL - yes!
of course i was going to offere the seat to the old lady, anyway - and said so to the child and mothere , who simply ignored me.

Am v shocked at the lifting of your skirt, Katie! Outrageous!

bookwormtailmum · 28/09/2007 10:32

KK - that child sounds a right charmer .

I make my dd sit on my lap if the bus or tube is busy as we were never allowed to sit as children if adults were standing plus I'm conscious that she travels free (we live in a London Borough) so I shouldn't abuse the privilege by making a fare-paying passenger stand. I rarely took my dd's buggy on the bus when she was a baby/toddler but if we had, she'd have been strapped in securely, not left to roam. I bet that Mum would have kicked off if her daughter had been hurt from her forays.

YANBU.

hanaflower · 28/09/2007 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bookwormtailmum · 28/09/2007 10:40

That child will get a shock when she goes to school if she lifts her teacher's skirt .

Original poster

katiekitty · 28/09/2007 10:40

Just so you know, I was wearing socks underneath... though if you were on the bus, you'd have copped an eyeful! Oh the shame.

OP posts:

Lorayn · 28/09/2007 10:51

The reason children are not charged on buses under the age of five is that they are thought to be small enough to sit on their parents knee if no other seats are available. I get really frustrated when sitting on a bus with my ds (nearly3) who no longer uses a buggy, then see someone with an older child get on the bus, with a buggy, and take up both buggy space and seats.

If the bus has room, then fine! But I have seen mothers with very young babies who are not able to get on the bus because said parents seem unable to fold their umbrella strollers and put their child on their lap or in a seat.

As for the dress OMG!!

Vile little child.

kerala · 28/09/2007 11:01

A shocker! YANBU cant believe the mum's reaction.

Original poster

katiekitty · 28/09/2007 11:03

Another pet peeve is when people sit down on the edge of the seat and give a whole seat to their handbag and are oblivious to the bus filling up and people standing around them. I must have got bolder in my old age as I'll always say 'budge up' to them, or say, 'oi, move your bag, so someone can sit down' I don't care if it's a very precious handbag, unless it's got a ticket of its own, it isn't taking up a seat! grrr buses, bring out the worse in people.

OP posts:

bookwormtailmum · 28/09/2007 11:18

Just sit on the bag/child next time .

And wear trousers.

Original poster

katiekitty · 28/09/2007 11:26

hehehe! And bicycle clips on said trousers, just in case, in fact, why not go the whole hog and bring a bicycle on board the bus too!

OP posts:

bookwormtailmum · 28/09/2007 11:35

And lean it up in the buggy part .

kerala · 28/09/2007 11:38

My annoyance at the moment is non encumbered business type people sitting in the two seats next to the buggy park when there are other empty seats available. Or men standing gormlessly in the buggy park bit again when they could sit somewhere else. GET OUT!! worst is that I am too wimpish to tell them to move so try to just glare at them which they dont notice.

Original poster

katiekitty · 28/09/2007 11:42

Kerala - maybe a gentle nudge in the ankle with a buggy might make them get the hint? Or perhaps an all-out assult on their briefcase with a carefully placed wheel?

OP posts:

Lorayn · 28/09/2007 11:43

lol kerala, I was like that until I was heavily pregnant with my DS and also had my DD (4 at the time), and my two nephew (who were 5 and 2) I needed those seats! I had a buggy, two children and was not standing up, sos I asked the person in buggy seats to 'excuse me' they tried moving over a little, and harumphing at me!!
I think it was the hormones that made me say 'There are spare seats behind you and over there, do you think maybe you could sit there like the 'these seats are priority for wheelchairs and buggys' sign suggests???'

Anna8888 · 28/09/2007 11:56

LOL Kerala and Lorayn, I get driven insane by people who insist on sitting in the seats next to the buggy park when the bus is practically empty so then I have to fold the buggy up to go and sit elsewhere and have to hold on to the folded buggy so then I can't put my daughter on my knees...

Lorayn · 28/09/2007 20:06

katiekitty, I think you cursed me, I had two awful bus journeys today, I have to get four buses to get to my DD's school and back, on one I remarked quite loudly to DS as I got on that he should move form the buggy seat and go further to the back because the people with buggys would need the space, and some bloke sat there!!!

On another bus the woman and her 9/10 yo son in front of me were getting on, he was quite loud, but not obnoxiously, and some posh tart sneered at him saying down her phone 'can you give me a call back in a moment please' followed by 'surely you can hear that? I cant possibly carry on an important business call with that awful racket going on'

The poor mother in front of me looked distraught, sos I said in a VERY loud precocious voice 'Oh, of course, the best place for a business conversation is the 3:25 school bus, how dare children be on here, and talking??, what a disgrace I shall have to complain to the council' then gave the mother a little wink.

1dilemma · 29/09/2007 22:35

Don't get me started on this!
they should bring back those signs saying children can't sit down if a paying adult is standing for starters
Bl^^dy red ken and his free buses for children (accept the policy is OK it just needs revising could start by saying journey must be more than 6 stops for those in secondary school)

zisforzebra · 29/09/2007 23:04

YANBU!! What a horrible woman (and I pity the child frankly!)

I'd like teenagers to be taught that not everyone on the bus wants to hear their misoginist, offensive rap music played at full volumn on the bus and if they want to use the MP3 feature on their phone they should buy some bloody headphones, decent ones that don't leak the sound out for everyone else to suffer!

Lorayn · 30/09/2007 10:21

ugh, teenagers on buses, some are perfectly respectable but I am rather fed up with my children having to listen to 'f*ng' as an adjective, and the only adjective these children seem to know!!!
I remember being a child and someone would always pipe up and say 'there's kids on the bus' (a friend that is, not a stranger) and we would temper our language accordingly.

I find it good to tell my children in a rather loud voice how I would like them to ignore the heathens swearing and cursing, and point out to them that it is a sign of low intelligence, not being able to expand your vocabulary enough to put your thoughts into words without swearing, therefore we should pity the poor children, and just let them be. Somehow, it seems to make them stop and think, even if only for that short bus journey

Bouncingturtle · 30/09/2007 10:31

Yep IKWYM, was in London in a couple of weekends ago and there were 2 pre-teen boys sat in thr priority seats of a packed bus. Luckily a woman saw I was struggling to stand due to being pg and offered me her seat. But there is no way those 2 kids should have been sat down.

tissy · 30/09/2007 10:45

wondering if the child maybe had some special needs? 4/5 is rather old to be using a buggy isn't it? Child sounds rather like a 7 yr old in dd's ballet class who has some kind of special needs- no idea what, haven't been told, and behaves in a very "silly" way, and has been known to lift the skirts of anyone around....
if the case, maybe mother at end of tether....

clutching at straws here, but wonder if there's more to this than meets the eye

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