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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ndn

49 replies

Dkr23 · 10/07/2020 23:30

Ndn has attached planters to my fence without at least telling me or asking for permission. They look really ugly, I can see them all lined up across the top of my fence. Have already had a few issues related with other things but I have never made a fuss and just let it go as didn’t want to spoil relations with them, life’s too short to dwell on small things, But it’s just really pissed me off that not even a quick text to tell me they planning on attaching things to our fence. I don’t think I’d be this pissed off if I had a bit of warning.

OP posts:
DappledThings · 11/07/2020 07:36

Get a new fence, just to piss them off.

Yeah, definitely do this OP. Spend 100s of pounds on something totally unnecessary that they can just hang their planters on again later list to make some kind of weird point. Can't see a better plan than this.

DrManhattan · 11/07/2020 07:38

sarcasm

DappledThings · 11/07/2020 07:39

@DrManhattan

sarcasm
Oh thank goodness. You never know round here!
CuriousaboutSamphire · 11/07/2020 07:41

For hanging some planters their side of the fence? Yes! For adding stresses to a fence they don't own; reducing its life span etc etc etc.

I always find it weird that neighburliness only seem to go one way on most MN threads - the taker takes and the owner is told to fuck off and not be so miserable. Doesn't work with anything else, car, money, husband....

LuluBellaBlue · 11/07/2020 07:43

Photo please to know if YABU as it depends on what you can actually see?

Jellybeansincognito · 11/07/2020 07:51

Me too! Fencing is expensive @ CuriousaboutSamphire you’re completely entitled to feel annoyed about someone tampering with your fencing after spending thousands on it.

Neighbours are well within their rights to stick their own fence up.

PinkSpring · 11/07/2020 07:53

It would annoy me - we paid for and replaced our fence between us and neighbours and they painted it - did a poor job as it leaked through the cracks so we will now have to re do ours.

They have no doubt attached things to it that I cannot see.

It annoys me but I can't be bothered to do or say anything about it - as long as they don't damage it anyway.

We attached planters to a shared fence of a different neighbour but we asked them beforehand as the hooks would be visible from their side. Wouldn't have done it if they had a problem with it. It's polite to ask!

UntamedWisteria · 11/07/2020 07:55

So many fence posts on MN this morning!

Shoxfordian · 11/07/2020 07:56

I would really struggle to care about this tbh
Life is short op

Chloemol · 11/07/2020 07:58

I get it. It is rude. My neighbour paints their side, she did ask ( although not about the baskets on the posts but I don’t mind) the other neighbour dies nothing and allows ivy to grow yo it which I have to keep cutting back. ( the whole fence round the garden us mine)

Dkr23 · 11/07/2020 08:01

Just to clear up. I couldn’t include all details obviously due to being identifiable! This is second fence we’ve put up as they damaged previous one. Fences Can become damaged with having heavy things hanging off them. You shouldn’t put them on fence panels but on posts which are structurally stronger. Thank you all for responses and thank you for YABU responses not being to harsh. I’m not going to say anything but just needed to vent. I might mention the fact that if the planter is heavy it might damage my panels so if they can keep an eye on it or move to posts but knowing what a coward I am I’m just going to stew quietly and come into mumsnet to rant about it Grin

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 11/07/2020 08:06

Amazing how far spray on weedkiller travels...just sayin'

And then you can sympathise "oh , it's odd that nothing grows in these pots " and they might take them down

Longwhiskers14 · 11/07/2020 08:10

@Dkr23

Just to clear up. I couldn’t include all details obviously due to being identifiable! This is second fence we’ve put up as they damaged previous one. Fences Can become damaged with having heavy things hanging off them. You shouldn’t put them on fence panels but on posts which are structurally stronger. Thank you all for responses and thank you for YABU responses not being to harsh. I’m not going to say anything but just needed to vent. I might mention the fact that if the planter is heavy it might damage my panels so if they can keep an eye on it or move to posts but knowing what a coward I am I’m just going to stew quietly and come into mumsnet to rant about it Grin
You should ask them to move the planters off the panels if the weight of them is causing damage. Unless your NDN are utter arseholes I can't imagine they'd refuse. We need to replace a boundary fence but our neighbour's asked us to wait until growing season is over as she's attached all her plants to it. Which we're happy to do, because it's being neighbourly. Will we care when she reattaches them to the new fence? No. It's just a fence!
Silvercatowner · 11/07/2020 08:11

Oh good grief I'm so pleased my NDNs aren't like this. We barely care or remember whose fence is whose. When fences need replacing we dredge up whose fence it is and the person on the other side contributes to the cost. Life is too short for all of this crap.

Leflic · 11/07/2020 08:19

@Silvercatowner

Oh good grief I'm so pleased my NDNs aren't like this. We barely care or remember whose fence is whose. When fences need replacing we dredge up whose fence it is and the person on the other side contributes to the cost. Life is too short for all of this crap.
Silvercatowner - absolutely this.
pussycatinboots · 11/07/2020 08:21

And then you can sympathise "oh , it's odd that nothing grows in these pots " and they might take them down

Yup Grin

Coronabegone · 11/07/2020 11:13

They definitely know we own it as we put a new one up when they moved in - which they painted btw without asking and we still have paint stains on patio and it’s all seeped into our side*

This is second fence we’ve put up as they damaged previous one.

You didn't think to mention two fences when you mentioned they knew the fence was yours.......DRIP DRIP

Coronabegone · 11/07/2020 11:14

Bold fail 🙄

Lolwhat · 11/07/2020 11:39

People are dying and you’re annoyed about a fence :S

LakieLady · 11/07/2020 11:44

would have asked them to put it round a post rather than wrapping it round a slag

Fab typo! Had me roaring. Grin

cakeandchampagne · 11/07/2020 11:56

If it is completely your legal fence, mail a letter to the ndn stating that- and they are not to paint it or apply, affix, attach (etc.) anything to it. And to remove the new planters, etc.
If they don’t comply, you need to talk to a solicitor about the next step.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 11/07/2020 12:38

Why does it bother you so much? I get that it's your fence, you paid for it, but for the entity of its lifespan, half of it will always be facing into your neighbours garden, and if they want to do a little something to make it look pretty, then let them.

Coronabegone · 11/07/2020 12:38

If it is completely your legal fence, mail a letter to the ndn stating that- and they are not to paint it or apply, affix, attach (etc.) anything to it. And to remove the new planters, etc.
If they don’t comply, you need to talk to a solicitor about the next step.

Yeah maybe log it with 101 as well?? I mean anything could happen once someone has hung a planter on your fence!

chrislilleyswig · 11/07/2020 13:09

You're getting a bit of a hard time OP

I've got new neighbours who have done this. It's a big "hook over" planter so I can see two lovely bright orange hooks on my side

Painted their side

Then they added a higher trellis and pulled my plant through and round it.

The orange planter is hideous.

The trellis, if my plant grows up, I can let go

I suppose in the light of the bbqs in their tiny garden blowing all over my washing this is small fry

And I do try to not get worked up about it but as a PP said, you feel it personally

It's the lack of courtesy that gets me

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