When I was 5, I was sexually abused by my cousin on one occasion. I told my parents & they spoke to his parents but didn't really address it with me. My mother then left the family home when I was around 8 years old. I can still remember crying & begging her not to go. She came back to visit & eventually moved back but brought her much younger boyfriend with her. So, me, my brother, my father, the aupair, my mum and my mum's boyfriend were all living in the same house at the same time. Yes you read that right. After the divorce, she moved us to the countryside with the boyfriend, away from our father & family. I am from a BAME background & suffered terrible racism & bullying for years. The boyfriend was also extremely verbally abusive towards my brother & I and had severe mental health issues; police were called to the house several times. After they split, mum went on to date numerous men and shared all details of the relationship with us.
Generally, my mother is a very selfish, self absorbed woman who falls out with everyone she comes into contact with. She hates her family & will have intense friendships with people then drop them as soon as they do something minor to displease her. She also comes from a culture where it's completely normal to never show your children respect or admit you're wrong. As a result, my mother and I have a fractious relationship which recently came to a head.
Just before xmas and barely 2 months after I'd split from my ex fiance, she sent me a really long, rambling, intense email talking about her need for catharsis & commenting on the distance between us. She doesn't have any friends so she will regularly call me and rant at me about her problems for hours and she continued doing this after the breakup, so I started dodging her calls, which is what I think she was referring to. She ended the email saying she was sorry if, "for reasons you think are valid, you feel I've let you down." I found this really passive aggressive as there is no doubt she's let me down & I was really riled she would send me such an intense email at such a difficult time but I resolved to respond in a few days. However, she prompted me for a response the next day. I firmly but politely explained that it takes a lot of energy for me to communicate with her & I was trying to surround myself with people who make my life easier & she didn't come into that category which was why I was distancing myself. I am never this honest with her because she has a tendency to fly off the handle if you say something she doesn't like but I felt pressured to give a response. She responded saying, "as you were then," and I remember thinking that was uncharacteristically calm of her & actually feeling relieved that I'd told her how her behaviour was affecting me. However, that was short lived when I found that she had blocked me on WhatsApp and deleted me on Facebook and Instagram. She has done this before when I've disagreed with her or told her something she didn't want to hear.
Its now been 6 months since I've spoken to her and I have to say, I am enjoying the break. Obviously I would rather not be estranged from my mother forever but I'm unsure of how to move forward. Should I have just accepted the olive branch no matter how passive aggressive it was?