To ask for help, I need anxiety medication

[melissaandduck]

I've reached my limit and I can no longer continue feeling like this. I've had this my whole life, I suffered terribly after the birth of my children and never sought help out of fear someone thinking I wasn't a fit mother.

I've just thrown my husband out over brushing past the ceiling accidentally with our 3 year olds car seat and not "respecting my wishes". I read that our ceilings could contain asbestos and now I'm obsessed. They're plastered, painted and brushing past with a seat won't do anything, I know that. Yet I can't stop playing it over and over and freaking out. This is one tiny example of the millions of things I do this with.

I'm never living in the moment with my dcs, my mind is always consumed by my "rules". My toddler said "be careful with xyz" and I realised how fucked up it all is. He's picking up on these things and repeating them and it's all my fault.

I've been so against medication in fear of them making me less present than I already am. But it's ruining our lives.

My husband is so kind, so understanding and knows it's not "me". But I need to find a solution because even pre lockdown the gym helped but my life was still very consumed by it.

Wondering if anyone can help and have any advise about which medication works best?

Also I have tried therapy for a short period but honestly found it too stressful to continue. I came home more frustrated and upset about my childhood.

I think you should ask your gp.
I think medication advise from people on the Internet cannot be good.

Having said this: I know somebody who has a fear of germs. CBT helped more than medication, but medication also helped.
He took Fluoxetine and I think he would recommend it.
However corona ruined it all for him.

However it is important to speak to your gp who can maybe give advice on seeing a specialist.

I'm so glad you are ready to change. We can't recommend you need to see your GP.

Hello, it sounds like you are having a really tough time. I hear you! I've been losing the plot steadily since March. I am on medication but obviously all our circumstances are going to be so different so saying that this drug has changed my life might not be helpful for you.
I've been on Mirtazipine since May and my anxiety has calmed down to a manageable level and I'm eating again (anything that isn't nailed down ). The best thing to do is talk it over with your GP. Even talking about it was a huge relief and I felt a lot better immediately. Knowing that help was on its way.
Is it possible you could do that next week? Have a chat with the doctor?
It sounds like you have good support at home so with a combined approach to tackling this I hope you will start to feel better.

Oh op I've been there. It's so all consuming isn't it? I ended up being signed off work because it was so bad. I had medication to put me onto a more even keel for want of a better phrase. That made the days more bearable. I then had counselling which was a massive help, but I wouldn't have been able to get the benefit of the counselling without the medication evening things out first, in if you see what I mean.

All you have to do is have a chat with your GP. They will be able to advise you over the best course of action. Not all medications make you zone out either, I had a tiny low dose of a tranquilized which scared me at first but once I was taking it a couple of weeks I felt so much better. Good luck. Have you someone to talk to in real life?

Talk to your GP. This was me 3 weeks ago. I had a telephone appointment with GP (actually better for me than face to face) and was prescribed Sertraline. I’ve literally come off a follow up phone appointment and am continuing the meds. Feel calmer and able to think about looking forward to life. So please, please speak to your GP.

Definitely speak to your GP. It's the best place to start. I take 30mg of citalopram daily and have done for years. It keeps me somewhat on an even keel although lockdown has begun to get to be a struggle.

I've started using the Calm app. It's not a solution by itself of course, but I use it to do the daily exercise, maybe a minute of the breathing exercise...little things you can fit in.

I also keep a small journal that only takes a few minutes to fill in each day, where I record what mindfulness exercises I've done and also how I'm feeling so I can keep track over time.

I am also under the care of the local mental health team and was attending regular appointments with a psychologist. Unfortunately due to COVID-19 that's all on hold.

It all seems impossible in the moment but the first step is seeking help. And take it day by day.

Thank you all so much for your replies. I did speak to my GP this morning who was incredibly helpful and has put me on Sertraline with a review in a few weeks.

I know it's not a cure but I just hope it will help me challenge the things that are getting on top of me.

Thanks again. I feel a bit embarrassed reading it back but I just had a moment of clarity in that I cannot continue this way.

Well done for speaking to your GP!

Please don't feel embarrassed - plenty of us have done things, looked back when we've been in a better place and thought, "That was absolutely bananas what on earth was I thinking!"

All the best!

Hi OP, secret therapist here (CBT)
Sounds like you're having a horrible time of it and well done for making a decision to speak with your GP.
Maybe now, or in a few weeks when you've settled onto the meds it might be a good opportunity for going back to therapy?
A lot of people feel like therapy is too hard - it is bloody hard! But combining meds and therapy has a strong evidence base for really positive outcomes.
CBT works on what's happening in the present, day to day, that keeps you stuck in the same behaviours, beliefs and emotions (namely, for you, likely anxiety and low mood/frustration), and counselling works by going back into the past and unpicking what bought you to this point.
You will have a local IAPT service who can offer both options, I would suggest if you want to move things forward opt for CBT in the first instance and then come back for counselling to look at your past.
Hope you feel better soon with the meds - hopefully they'll take things down a notch.