DH and I have very few friends. I've made a special effort since DD (3) was born to make "mum friends" and now have a few ladies who I can call on for a chat and playdate. It feels great but these feel like acquaintances rather than friends. We hardly know anyone locally and certainly no couples that we could call friends. DH has even fewer friends than me but is close to his DB and we have a good relationship with them. DD adores her cousins who are 6 and 10. They have recently moved back from living abroad so we do have more contact with them. I have in the last 2 years gone no/low contact with my siblings and parents after various conflicts which I won't go into. My mum is refusing to speak to me and ignores the few text messages I've sent her.
I've found the last few months utterly traumatic - first the lockdown then the working plus covering childcare and the cherry on the top is the distinct lack of social support from friends and family - again, with friends it's because they don't really exist and with family it's because of the issues/conflict/indifference in particular from my side of the family. I've spoken to DH about it and he says he'd love to have more friends but then he doesn't seem to do anything about it and is generally a very introverted person. I am miserable mostly and always exhausted. I know I should be happy and focus on DH and DD who is my absolute joy but I feel so isolated, even ashamed of myself that we have very few sources of support and friendship. Obviously the situation with my parents and siblings compounds all of this.
AIBU to feel so helpless and feel that life is so hard with so few friends and family for moral support? Or should I just cheer up, be grateful and to keep trying to make new friends? What is life like for others who might be in the same position?
TIA