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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect a bit bloody more from a family lawyer?!

4 replies

1cekh · 09/07/2020 22:17

Separated from "D"H in March following a very difficult few years, emotional abuse but didn't report at the time. Am not eligible for legal aid. Court in August, until then we both have PR and seem to be expected to muddle through with child arrangements.
Have got a lawyer who was recommended through a friend of the family. Expensive! He doesn't get back to me when I have queries. For days. Sometimes he doesn't answer at all. He told me that he was busy when I rang him in a state because my ex had called social services about me (he has done this multiple times, with each case being closed). He said he had other cases to deal with! He (lawyer) just doesn't seem interested at all. He also advised me to get divorce paperwork done before arranging childcare. A friend in a similar situation has had childcare in place for years now but is still not divorced. Has he given me the wrong advice? Is his attitude to be expected or completely normal for a family lawyer? I don't know if I should expect more or not...Are lawyers allowed to take on cases they don't have capacity to run with?

(Also I did find another lawyer and was going to switch to her but when emailed and then called her about taking my case, she didn't get back to me - this was on Monday. Is it true family lawyers can pick and choose their clients at the moment so she just didn't like me and decided not to take me on?)

OP posts:
aglaranna · 09/07/2020 22:25

Child contact arrangements orders are not part of a divorce.

You will both always have PR until basically someone dies or something truly awful happens to have it removed by law.

You need to go to mediation first and then to court.

You could represent yourself or have a McKenzie Friend with you for support and advice.

Have you sorted out mediation yet? That's the true first step.

VioletGrace · 09/07/2020 22:33

He doesn't sound great. I'd try to find another one, personally.

1cekh · 09/07/2020 22:45

Sorry to clarify, we did mediation and it didn't work, discussions between lawyer and ex didn't work, that is why we are now going to the courts.

That's why I am concerned that he suggested doing the divorce 1st, rather than child contact orders. Because where DCs are is more important to me (and most divorcing parents I would have thought) than the actual marriage itself.

OP posts:
theoldtrout01876 · 09/07/2020 23:55

My first lawyer was like that, bloody useless. At one point he said to me " oooh hes not going to like that" at a very reasonable request I wanted put to my exh would have actually worked in his favor.
I ditched him, ate the retainer and got a SHL. It was the best decision I made though the whole thing

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