To hate snobs with a passion???

[SneakyBlinder]

I was just chatting to my neighbour and she was telling me that her son has a new girlfriend (I’ve known her son for years) she was saying how nice the gf is and how happy he is with her. Then she said “the only downside of course is that she lives in ” (an area about 25 mins from where we live)
I was a bit taken aback by this and said “does it matter? It’s just a house, on a road” and she said “of course it matters...that’s not what I wanted for DS”

Now this has really got my back up. When I had my eldest DD I was given a HA place in a less then popular area of my city. I didn’t care though, it was mine and I was happy. I made it nice. I worked hard, got my degree, worked full time and although things were tight most of the time, me and DD were happy. It didn’t matter what road our house was on....

Am I being naive? Do people really judge other people by where their house happens to be? Regardless of whether the person had any choice in where they were housed?

[jessstan2]

Desiringonlychild, at 27 you're doing very well to buy a flat! It's easier to look after too and generally all that a young couple needs when they are working hard. The value of the flat will go up and when you need a house, you'll be in a good position to buy one.

[Pleasestoprainingnow]

I honestly don't care, it's none of my business - but why lie about such random things?!

Because many people do judge. They might not say it out loud, but they do. It's like someone asks what your job is, some only do it to figure out where you 'sit' in their esteem. If you reply Mcdonald's you're labelled one thing, you reply Accountant, you're labelled another in their mind.

I was talking to someone at a party, once he heard I didn't go to university, he said 'So you're thick as pig shit then' ha ha ha. Lovely 🙄

[Deathraystare]

The snobbery I experienced from some of the other girls was breathtaking; comments like "Oh, so your parents don't own your house?" "Your parents haven't got a car?"

Interestingly, we moved close to Croydon. Our own house and all the kids at school from the Shrublands Estate thought we were snobs because we had our own house!

They had holidays to Spain, a car, regular trips to the pub -none of which my parents could afford! We were also one of hte last to get a colour tv! I never boasted about owning a home, why would I? But they were always on about my family owning a home. Jeez.

[MaybeDoctor]

It cuts both ways. People aren't always what they seem. Someone might take a glance at my lifestyle and assume that I am stuck up or look down on others. But my politics are centre-left and I have a very socially-conscious job!

[LakieLady]

If someone is privileged enough to own a house in a nice area you'd think they'd be happy enough with their lot, but it does seem like some people aren't happy without being able to sneer at the peasants

I suspect that comes from a sort of insecurity. They are desperate to be seen to belong to a more affluent, privileged class, and try and make sure of that by sneering at those they perceive to be "beneath" them.

They're still twats though.

[tobee]

Strange question though:- who's going to say "ooh I love snobs!" ?

Inverted snobbery seen as a badge of honour though. Especially on here.

[Goyle]

My first proper boyfriend claimed to come from a "respectable" middle-class family. All old-fashioned naval-types, ancestors fought alongside Nelson yawn. I come from a working class family. When I met the boyfriend's family I thought they were all batshit mad and very unhappy. Didn't stop them turning against me when I told them my dad was a factory labourer. I was upset the relationship ended but 20 years on I am actually relieved. I couldn't stand them!

My mother can be a crashing snob and didn't like my now husband's family because they were deemed "beneath" her. I remind her that Grandad was a dustbin man, and to get off her high horse. She still tries to social climb within her WI group.

I get snobbery from my customers at a couple of the tube stations I supervise because they are in "nice" areas. They can be very rude and report me for supposed infractions even though I was just following procedures laid down by the law/ORR. They also complain to their MP. They then get arsey because they receive a letter saying their complaint doesn't get upheld. Utter class snobbery.

[LakieLady]

The bits on the edge of London, like Croydon and Thornton Heath, aren't so good but generally that is known as S London area, not 'Surrey' proper.

Thornton Heath has a Surrey postal address though.

A friend of mine used to live on the very southern edge of Thornton Heath. She moved south about half a mile to house that had a South Norwood address, and her car insurance shot up because she then lived in London SE25 instead of in Surrey!

[SirGawain]

This can work both ways. I have a colleague who is in a a senior position in my organisation. She like me was born and brought up in a council house. Both born into working class families. Neither of us are ashamed of this. The difference between us is that I dont feel the need to wear my working clas credentials on my sleeve. Nor am I as patronising as her about such people who do well in life.

[vixxo]

Of course people judge. The majority will keep it to themselves though.

[Mountainpika]

Somebody has to give this link.

twitter.com/johncleese/status/1254130854462455813?lang=en

[Mountainpika]

Somebody has to give this link.

twitter.com/johncleese/status/1254130854462455813?lang=en

[Goyle]

Another thing about property: we bought our flat on a part buy, part rent basis and at the time Royal Mail were having a lot of problems with their deliveries. The adjacent block is fully private...and expensive. Built to better specs. Common thing in London. My husband is a postie. He was about to enter our block one day, when a man came running up to him from the private block, saying "Postman! Postman!" He wanted to talk about the infrequent deliveries. My husband said, "Sorry mate, clocked off for the day. I don't work in this area, you need to speak to..." and the man interrupted saying, "You live here? Here? In this block?" Apparently he had no idea he was living so close to social housing. I think he was shocked. We laugh about it now!

[FudgeBrownie2019]

We're Midlands (Kenilworth) and MIL lives in Solihull with a B96 postcode - until I met her I had no idea the B96 postcode even existed, let alone that it could be used as a gauge of someone's worth. MIL is obsessed with us moving back to Solihull because Kenilworth "isn't old money". I've genuinely never known another person like her, but among her friends she's the norm.

I think snobbery is rife, most people are just great at hiding it.

[Mountainpika]

P.S. I'm upper class, obviously, way upper mountain.

[Mountainpika]

Meant to post this first.
twitter.com/johncleese/status/1254130854462455813?lang=en

[Livelovebehappy]

Absolutely people judge others by where they live. Happens at primary school when parents will gravitate towards children who live in nice areas as playmates for their own DCs. I get it from people as I decided to get more house for my money by moving to an area which isn’t totally desirable. I love it here though and, in fact, the people I live amongst are so much more friendly and pleasant than where I lived before, where neighbours pretty much judged you on everything, from the size of your bbq to what car you had parked on your driveway.

[MrsKoala]

Thornton Heath has a Surrey postal address though.

I didn’t realise that. How weird. I lived below it, near Selhurst station and had an se25 post code. I always assumed it was London too.

2 friends of mine flat shared in Streatham, one then got married and moved to Hampstead. At her wedding in Hampstead her step mum loudly gushed ‘oh Jessica, you’ve really arrived, you’re such a long way from Streatham now’ our friend who was stood right next to her said ‘ i still live in Streatham’ and the step mum pulled a bad smell face and said ‘I know’. It was so outrageously rude my friend and I cracked up and step mum flounced off. I wish I could afford to buy a house in Streatham!

[Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies]

It can be funny at times though. I live in the town of Herne Bay which was absolutely slaughtered on a property thread a couple of days ago. I quite enjoyed reading about the awfulness of my town, which is actually a perfectly nice place to live even if you’re (gasp) middle class.

[bringbacksideburns]

Is it as bad in other countries like Australia and America?

I've read the OP again and I really hope it's not my daughter

She is quite well spoken and driven but out of her current friendship group about the only one not privately educated, yet she did better than many of them in GCSEs. She has noticed that many of them downplay their backgrounds a lot and try to be 'less posh ' whilst she tells me she's now perfected the art of not reacting when walking into yet another ginormous house!

It's all very silly. But sadly it seems it will never go away. We will always have the old school tie in this country opening more doors.

[mrsBtheparker]

Inverted snobbery seen as a badge of honour though. Especially on here

It's the Four Yorkshiremen syndrome, 'We used to dream of living in a corridor, would have been a palace to us'.

The worst inverted snobs are usually rabid Socialists, the Abbott sort, don't do as I do, do as I say.

[Quarantimespringclean]

Lol about the postie snobbery! When DS2 was very little I worked in a local Sainsburys 4 nights a week. I could BF feed him at 6.30pm, be at my checkout at 7pm and back home to feed him again about 10.30. It was easy, undemanding work and the staff discount was very handy. I remember having a conversation about local property prices with a customer. A few days later I passed her when I was out with the children and pointed out our house to her. My opinions on property prices in that road were based on my very expert local knowledge after all! She was openly shocked that someone as lowly as a supermarket worker could own a naice detatched house in a leafy suburb. It even had a BMW in the drive! It didn’t seem to occur to her that I hadn’t been born a cashier. I was highly qualified professionally and we had bought the house when I was earning a small fortune but the supermarket hours enabled me to be a mainly SAHM which mattered more to me than earning the big bucks.

[Quarantimespringclean]

I grew up in Thornton Heath. My mum (who has more than a touch of the Hyacinth Bouquet about her) clung to that Surrey address for all it was worth.

For someone asking do Americans have the same snobbishness - I don’t know but I do have an American friend who moved here to be with her then BF. His house was on the Kidbrooke Estate. It was in the days when long distance relationships were conducted by post and after months of writing to the Kidbrooke estate she and her family envisaged her moving to somewhere like Brideshead. Sadly she discovered that Estate in that context was broadly equavalent to the project home she grew up in.

[feelingfragile]

@bringbacksideburns

It's just so rude. I hate it too.

My dd has a new boyfriend. They have been friends for a while. He is from a very wealthy business family, well known in a certain RHWOC area .

I don't live in a dump but they are worlds apart. She says his mum is really nice but I'd hate to think she would ever say that about my daughter because we don't live in that area.

What does RHWOC mean?

[SirGawain]

RHWOC The Real Housewives of Orange County.
An American TV series,