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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to call in sick for bad period pain?

21 replies

Candycrush426 · 09/07/2020 06:59

I have pcos so I have my period every few months rather than once a month. When I have my period I’m in the most agonising pain by day 2. When I say this I mean I have cramps so bad I can’t lie down,I can’t sleep I can’t stand. I get so dizzy from the pain that I feel like I will pass out so I lie on the cold floor to cool me down. I go to the toilet for a number 1 or 2 and I have the worst pain it takes me ages to even let a little bit pass and most of the time because of the pain I have to lie on the bathroom floor to stop myself fainting from the dizziness in the middle of it. I just feel like when you say period pain people don’t understand the pain varies from person to person. But why do I feel stupid calling in sick for it when I know there would be no way I would be physically able to drive to work let alone work functionally.

P.S I have been to the doctors all they did was recommend the pill. We have been trying for a baby on Clomid right now so I can’t really do much for my period apart from pain killers.

OP posts:

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 09/07/2020 07:14

YANBU but I'd probably just say you keep fainting and still feel dizzy. But that's me being a wimp. Periods aren't anything to be ashamed of.

What you described doesn't sound like normal period pain though, I'd be getting that checked out. You can't keep going through that every month.

NancyNoNickers · 09/07/2020 07:15

You’re definitely not being unreasonable, it sounds horrendous. Take care

backseatcookers · 09/07/2020 07:21

But why do I feel stupid calling in sick for it when I know there would be no way I would be physically able to drive to work let alone work functionally.

Because we've been conditioned to think that anything to do with periods is embarrassing, shameful and not to be discussed for fear of upsetting the menfolk.

If it helps you be braver, try to see you speaking up about it as a little way of challenging the patriarchy and helping young women in future not feel this way!

You are not fit to work in that state so of course ring in sick. You poor thing it is so debilitating isn't it. If you had those symptoms and it was anything but period related you wouldn't hesitate, would you? You know what to do - give them a call

kikisparks · 09/07/2020 07:21

I have endometriosis and have taken a day off before, I’m similar to you with the agony and dizziness, don’t sleep more than a couple of hours the first 2 days of my period because of the pain. Working from home due to covid is a lifesaver as there’s no commute, I can wrap up with my hot water bottle and take the breaks I need, I can also cry from the pain and nobody has to see me. I’m still a bit rubbish on those days as I can’t concentrate well but it’s a new job and I can’t take much time off just now.

I recently tried feminax, it’s a bit stronger than ibuprofen so helps more. I’m the same as you they recommended the pill for it but I’m TTC.

LisaxMarie · 09/07/2020 07:37

Yes I would call in sick. I have endometriosis and get the same issues as you and I've called in sick on a number of occasions due to the first couple of days of my period being so horrendous! Feel better soon x

dairyfairies · 09/07/2020 07:39

of course yanbu. this should not even be s question.

Yellredder · 09/07/2020 07:40

Stay at home. You're not fit to be working. The amount of times I've had to be sent home or have someone called to take me home, or even been taken to hospital because of periods is ridiculous. Just stay at home and take care of yourself.

Crystal87 · 09/07/2020 07:42

Mine are painful so I understand. Yanbu for taking time off if you feel ill but it's something you can hopefully control with prescription painkillers. I take cocodamol off the doctor and go from being in awful pain to nothing at all.

YoBeaches · 09/07/2020 07:52

Call in sick, it's only a day or two and your need is genuine.

I had a woman work for me with PCOS and bless her she would come in, I could tell on her face as soon as I saw her- she was pale, clammy and uncomfortable, tired. I'd send her home each time until she realised it was ok and it wouldn't go against her. She was open with me about it though so I was able to be more responsive to her needs.

If you can't tell them the real reason, just say migraine and dizziness. Etc.

If you can be honest then do and it should help you in the future (if your boss isn't a twat)

Hope you feel better soon.

Jubaju · 09/07/2020 08:03

Do you feel you can talk to your manager about it? I said to my manager briefly about it and would arrange to wfh on days that I felt too bad to go in.

Original poster

Candycrush426 · 09/07/2020 08:18

Thank you everyone you have made me feel a lot better now. I have told my manager it’s really bad abdominal pain. I will discuss it more with him when I return to work. He knows I suffer from pcos and have regular appointments regarding this too. I could work from home but I think my body needs to rest I feel like I wouldn’t be able to do much

OP posts:

Margo34 · 09/07/2020 08:21

I've battled through debilitating period pains, vomited on arrival at my desk and was sent straight home by taxi because I could barely walk and fainted in the office bathroom. I suffer intense menstrual migraines, I did talk to my line manager on return to work about it although felt so guilty and embarrassed for taking time off for period pain, but they were so empathetic and didn't make a song or dance about it. My docs tried me on lots of different contraceptive pills until I'd had a enough as none helped, asked for something stronger and was cautiously prescribed triptans which are a little drowsy but the only thing that gets close to touching the sides!!

Put yourself first and stay home, you'll be of no benefit to your employer if you don't!

Immigrantsong · 09/07/2020 08:26

OP you know YANBU and I am glad you called in. I suffer so bad it feels like I am giving birth.

A suggestion based on things I have done: any chronic health condition can come under the Equality Act. Ask for an OH referral and seek reasonable adjustments. For example, because this is regular in an effort to not be used against your absence triggers as it almost sounds like a disability. Or negotiation of your triggers.

Are you in a Union? If not join and ensure you get some protection.

SayakaMurata · 09/07/2020 08:27

You can't go to work in that state. You poor thing.

I agree with a PP, we are conditioned to feel ashamed of periods and to minimise period pain. I used to pass out and be in agony on the first day of my period, so I sympathize.

The pill worked for me, and then the contraceptive implant. Not helpful if you're trying to conceive though!

Original poster

Candycrush426 · 09/07/2020 08:32

I feel like it’s so hard to be honest with a male manager I feel like I don’t want to creep them pout 😩

OP posts:

Wearegoingtoneedabiggerboat · 09/07/2020 08:37

YANBU to call in sick this time
YABU to call in sick every month you have a period.

Original poster

Candycrush426 · 09/07/2020 08:39

This is the first time I’ve called in sick for it as I used to be on the pill and I don’t get my period every month so when I do get it I’m lucky sometimes it falls on a weekend.

OP posts:

Pelleas · 09/07/2020 08:45

YANBU

Has your doctor checked for endometriosis? The pain does sound very much like this. Don't let yourself be fobbed off with a suggestion of the Pill which you can't even take at the moment. If you are TTC endo won't help, so I do suggest you persist with your doctor because you shouldn't be in this much pain when you have a period.

Your male manager shouldn't be in role if he can't deal factually with gynaecological illnesses but if you're not comfortable with him, is there a female manager you could speak to instead?

ACautionaryTale · 09/07/2020 08:53

~If I had to go into the office today I would be doing the same

500mg of naproxyn and 60mg of codeine is not even touching the sides

anything stronger and I'll be asleep

Bobbiepin · 09/07/2020 08:56

Because we've been conditioned to think that anything to do with periods is embarrassing, shameful and not to be discussed for fear of upsetting the menfolk

This. And then some. So what your manager is a man? He knows periods exist. I'd also ask to be checked for endometriosis, even with PCOS that doesn't sound normal. Wish you better soon.

DestinationFkd · 09/07/2020 09:19

There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of for being a woman.
If you felt ill with anything else you wouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed to phone in sick.
You really need to see your GP and maybe ask for a referral to a gynaecologist to get a prognosis and treatment.
Never, ever be embarrassed about being a woman.

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