Department full of backstabbers

[MiffedEmployee]

How do I put that bloody nicely in a annual review meeting as something that needs to change. It's been overdue but my line manager has not done it so I have to do it by Monday. I need to say something that addresses it in writing but perhaps tinkly voiced discussion to ensure I'm not put even further on the outside track as this has happened to other staff members.

Nothing I can evidence for this but I know it's going on. Think being invited to stuff and pretending to be friends but then saying they are leaving, I leave and people there go on somewhere else together. Majority of the department have their own long group chats and leave 5 of us out of it. You can see it happening on a regular basis but they could say it was work matters so no way of raising this to HR. They talk about others behind their backs and I've vaguely overheard a comment about my appearance but can't be sure what was said. I've been out of school 15 years and feel like it's all very school playground behaviour.

A few years ago and every year since then I have said I wanted to work towards a promotion (as did a majority of the team), my line manager said they'd support me with that. They have perfectly groomed someone else they get on with to be promoted (think showing them exactly how the job works, getting them to attend meetings for this role with line manager) and basically giving them the inside track. They have stepped away from assisting with anything too problematic which may come back on them by telling me to refer to others who are confused as to why I'd need to.

If it weren't for the fact I feel lucky to have a job right now (especially one that's been flexible and accomodating recently) I think I'd be looking at working towards goals of getting out of the department and something more aspirational immediately.

Is this just parr for the course in extremely large, national organisations? In my last job you'd just have someone say exactly what they think, maybe you'd sit down with them and have an open disagreement and then get to work having hashed it out and got over it.

AIBU? Should I just get on with it?

Part of me was wondering if I can do a SAR and pin them to anything that may have been said about me in writing.

How much of this is a current problem during the pandemic? Or is it one that pre-dates the upheaval of the last few months? If so, I'd be inclined to keep my head down on this one.

This started at least two years ago but it not, longer and has gradually got worse. I was feeling like this before lockdown and can see it even more. You have no idea who you can trust as even someone on the outside will try and highlight a minor mistake to make themselves look good to management (think, human error type mistake), which happened a lot when I joined the team years ago but has started again as everything is changing due to Corona.

I've tried ignoring it but want to address it subtly.

Bump

Leave. The job isn't good for your mental health and will eventually impact on your physical health. Start looking for something else.

Sounds horrible but I would look for another job and be honest in your exit interview. With the stuff you’ve described it’s really hard to call out because they can just deny or say you’ve misunderstood and basically lie their way out of it. Probably not what you want to hear 🤷‍♀️