DSC take over the flat with video games, give it to me straight AIBU?

[Jula332]

My DSC aged 10 and 11 are games mad which I know is perfectly reasonable for boys that age, but when they come round it's all they want to do and it dominates the flat. You can't get away from it because it's a fairly small place.

As soon as they arrive the PlayStation goes on the living room tv and the other one will be on their tablet playing games. Shouting at the tv/tablet. DH gives this the OK.

I have to keep their younger siblings away from the television because god forbid they touch the PlayStation / interfere with the game as then there will be a tantrum from the youngest of the two DSC.

They want me to watch everything they're doing on the games and as much as I think the world of the boys, I've grown tired of looking from screen to screen and feigning interest in the games. On days like today when the weather is miserable this goes on for 4-6 hours.

If i glance away, get up to do something or tend to one of my younger children all I get is "Look! Look!" even if I say sorry love I'm busy doing (whatever it is) right now. If I go to the bedroom to change the bedding or into the kitchen to make a drink one will follow me and demand I look at the game.

DH does nothing to discourage it or influence them to do something else because it doesn't bother him and he just let's them do as they please. They don't want to watch films or play board games. I bought ingredients to make our own pizzas on Friday and that went down like a lead balloon, they just wanted to stay on the games instead. I had hoped they'd discover they enjoy doing other things. Nope.

Whenever they're indoors they will do nothing else.

I will add that when we're outdoors with them they're a dream and there are no problems whatsoever. They're fantastic kids and I'm touched that they want to include me in their hobbies but it's driving me mad.

I've just gotten in from a walk to the corner shop to get them some drinks and the second I walked in I hear "ok so are you ready to come and watch again now"

I'm actually sat in the loo right now so I can get 10 minutes of peace from the bloody games.

I understand that this is what they do at home, but I'm not thrilled about it happening here if it takes over the house like this. I don't feel able to address it with the kids as their DM would love a reason to moan about me, so it will need to be DH.

I also feel guilty for being annoyed because it's what makes them happy, but there needs to be boundaries I think?

AIBU to tell DH he has to address it and make changes for when they are round our place or do I keep quiet and just let them carry on..

Don't flame me, I'm not a wicked step mother and I think the world of those children - but I think anybody would be pulling their hair out with this right?

On a final note, I know it's a DH problem and I'll be addressing it. I just didn't want to be that type of step mum.

DS (10) also spends far too much time gaming. There hasn’t been much else to do recently had there, especially when it’s wet. It makes him happy and means I can work. It’s obviously not ideal, but we’re all doing the best we can at the moment.

BUT I’d rather poke my own eyes out than watch him play! I can’t imagine anything more dull, you’re doing better than me OP to have spent as much time as you have watching them.

Are the younger siblings his?

Sorry I missed your comment, yes the younger siblings are his.

My eldest age 3 isn't interested in computer games so I think it's fair to say that it does impact him too.

My 2yr old routinely watches the bedtime song on cbeebies before bed so he's impacted too in the sense that he doesn't get to see that when the games are on. (I know that sounds a bit daft, but he loves it)

I took DH aside earlier on and had a quick chat where I outlined the fact he needed to start implementing boundaries with the games as it's not on.

I think it's lovely how involved they want you to be! They obviously really like you and want to impress you!
I definitely wouldn't be telling them you don't like computer games that's like telling a child who's painted you a picture that you don't like paintings lol. Remember this is their hobby just as much as football, playing the violin etc is for other kids.

I don't think they should be told to stop playing them but it should definitely be at certain times. And it's up to your DH to give them something else to do instead. He can't expect them to sit and read a book if that is not what they're interested in, he needs to take them out and do things to keep them busy. Maybe it could be on after a certain time and then you can do things like pizzas first and they'll be more engaged.

I also definitely think your other DC should get to watch cbeebies before bed as it's a nice routine to get in to.

We've spoken about it in-depth now and DH has agreed to put boundaries in place with regards to the video games. The PlayStation will be getting moved into their room tomorrow and he's going to make more of an effort to get them to do other things.

He could see where I was coming from so hopefully he nips it in the bud now.

It's going to be difficult to break their habit of constant gaming as it's what they're used to and I expect some kickback so we'll see how it goes!

It’s lovely that they want your attention, can you use it to your advantage by saying something like I’m not interested in the game but if you want to come help me with some baking /making pizza I will be in the kitchen, then leave them to it. They may surprise you and follow you.

Can’t believe he made you the bad guy, what a loser!

I would also put it in the bedroom, however, this will just demonstrate to their dad that they’re obsessed and spend far too much time gaming. They should be put, don’t care if it’s pissing down, he should be taking them to the park etc.

Stop letting them demand that you watch. Christ, nothing more boring.

I don't think a bit of drizzle (it wasn't even heavy rain) should mean everybody needs to coup up indoors on games myself. I have fond memories of playing out in all weather's.

It's a stark reminder just how much things have changed for children with this generations desire to spend so much time plugged into a game.

I will admit to being a bit jaded when it comes to gaming. It was a huge bone of contention with DH in the early days and would wind me up something rotten, so to see the cycle repeating itself is shit but doesn't surprise me.

He only ever games when I'm in bed now which I'm glad of.