To hate my postnatal vagina?

[NameChange564738]

I thought this would be better placed here instead of the other thread.

As the title says really... I’m just so unhappy with the aftermath but I don’t know what if anything to do about it.

I had a forceps delivery with episiotomy, the cut goes from inside out but it looks like the doctor who stitched me back up wasn’t actually looking at my vagina whilst stitching it up! It’s horrendous and very uncomfortable.

I don’t know whether I should just feel grateful my son if here and healthy. Or I can also feel like I should have a comfortable vagina even though I needed assistance to get him into the world.

To give some perspective it’s been just over 3 weeks so healed now and I can see/feel what it’s going to look like forever. There are parts that used to be inside that are now outside so it constantly feels like something is falling out.. it’s not it’s just something that used to be inside is now touching labia/knickers. Argh.

Am I being unreasonable with this? Should I just be grateful? Who do I talk to if not? Can anything even be done?

3 weeks post birth you will still be swollen and bruised. I felt like you after birth and honestly it took months before it fully healed but by a year later things looked much more normal. Give it more time i promise things will go back

Maybe speak to your GP or midwife? If things haven’t been stitched properly it might need corrective surgery. You shouldn’t put up with it if it’s been a botched job (sorry to be blunt)

At 3 weeks post forceps delivery your undercarriage is very far from being healed. The stitches may have healed but the whole area has been severely bruised and stretched, that takes time and exercise to regain tone and strength.

Give it much more time, do your pelvic floor exercises and stop looking! If you are still worried by the time you have your post natal appointment you can discuss it with your GP but realistically you are probably looking at 6-12 weeks to feel more normal and yes, it will be a new normal after giving birth but that doesn’t have to mean worse.

Yeah there’s been about a 50% reduction in swelling and of course I understand it’s stretched and will be for a while.. I’m happy with all that. That’s what I expect.

It’s just the disaster that is the internal stitching. It’s like a tight knotted scar that has folds of skin coming out, it really is awful.

My partner said I shouldn’t have looked too as you said @MatildaTheCat But I was prompted by the feeling of it, it does feel like every thy ing is falling out but it’s not it’s just the way it’s been stitched.

Thank you I’ll try and bring it up at my 6 week check with GP. I’ve been discharged by midwife now.

3 weeks postpartum isn’t what it will be like forever (I was convinced I had a prolapse after having my DS, I didn’t!). Give it time and do your pelvic floor exercises x

I was convinced I’d had a prolapse after having DC2. Even got the midwife to look. Nope, it was just swollen. It takes a lot longer than three weeks to look like it will when fully healed.

3 weeks is no time! I had a 3rd degree tear that had to be patched up under general anesthetic- I couldn't even sit up at 3 weeks pp! You need to give yourself time to heal. The way it looks now won't be how it looks forever. Don't worry!

My postnatal vagina used to make a horrible sucking noise when I walked. It did wear off thank goodness. Give yourself a bit more time to heal.

I had the same as you and my vagina looks and feels fine. However I've no idea how it looked at 3 weeks pp as I was too scared! I was sore for a while... Maybe give it another month and see how you feel? If there's no improvement then speak to your GP because you shouldn't have to just accept it if it causes you feelings of discomfort and insecurity.

You poor thing Can you speak to your health visitor? Or midwife? I don’t think you’ll feel better until you’ve spoken to a HCP who can either reassure you or advise you on what can be done.

Do your pelvic floor exercises. They will help- get the ‘ squeezy app’ it’s an nhs one. See GP at 6 weeks and get them to look. If it’s still painful and not feeling ‘ right’ get referred to gynae clinic. Worst case scenario you can have it refashioned!! It’s too early to say if you’ll need corrective treatment yet though.

Sorry just saw your update re midwife. GP should be able to help.

YABU 3 weeks is no time at all to heal.

You're braver than me I had the same delivery as you and didn't look down there for months.

I'm over a year on now and everything is back to normal with a faint scar.

Give yourself a break, 3 weeks is too soon to be lamenting a pre baby body in any way.

Has your midwife check the stiches at your check ups? You can still call them if you have not been discharged or call your GP so they can have a look.

3 weeks after birth is very early but if you feel something is not right you should get it check out.

Personally ,as awful as it felt and I had the same type of birth as you I never it never occurred to me to look. I am so glad I did not.

Op at 3 weeks postpartum i had something coming out and I was crying my eyes out when walking outdoors because I could feel a price of flesh between my thighs

I attended physiotherapy and it turned out I just needed to train my pelvic floor and it was my legs intestine pushing down and the muscles needed to pull it back up

I was convinced my organs will never go back to place but now I’m very happy with the outcome and don’t have anything coming out and I’m glad I went to physiotherapist who helped me understand my new body and how to work with it.

Pls don’t worry

So the consensus is I should wait a considerable amount of time longer to see how it is but I shouldn’t live with it if it’s permanent. Thank you, that is reassuring, this was my first so all new!

Ok that sounds sensible, the last midwife appt 4 days after he was born mentioned i can have access to physio if necessary.

No the midwife never checked stitches, actually now you mention it, at the hospital the consultant was doing the rounds and said they’re happy to discharge me to midwife care again providing midwife checks episiotomy before I leave hospital BUT when I mentioned this to midwife later that morning she turned her nose up at the thought and said ‘we wouldn’t see the wood for the trees at the minute there’s no point, does it feel ok?’ And I mean yeah it did then when I was jacked up on pain killers and everything was too swollen to feel properly. Now it’s all gone down a bit it’s feeling more and more uncomfortable.

Hi OP.

3 weeks postnatal is absolutely not enough time to allow yourself to heal. Your womb will still be shrinking and healing, your vagina will most certainly still be healing. It'll take at least 10-12 weeks for everything to begin even remembling something normal.

But, if something is amiss, take it from someone who had a bad 3rd degree tear and had been originally stitched up like Frankenstien, you can get it fixed.

Your vagina won't be this way forever.. It will go back to normal.

Now it’s all gone down a bit it’s feeling more and more uncomfortable.

Has it been checked at all? Could you have an infection?

Give yourself more time to heal. I recommed sitting in a warm salty bath for 10 minutes daily. Cup of kitchen salt in 5 inches of bath water, very soothing.

Sit in a warm salty bath for 10 mins every day.

I don’t know whether I should just feel grateful my son if here and healthy.

Obviously you should be grateful for that, but you should never feel like because your son is healthy you should just be grateful and not want to feel better yourself.

May not be interesting to anyone here but I thought I’d post just in case someone else reads in the future😂.

I have never been more happy to be totally wrong. I left it one week, didn’t look and just tried to forget about it and make sure I did pelvic floor exercises everyday, cheers squeezy app.

It’s looking miles different already. I definitely looked/wanted to act prematurely. Thank you all for your advice. It looks like with time it’ll get better.

@Meredithgrey1 yes, I am grateful but I suppose I meant I couldn’t have got DC here safely on my own and I owe the fact DC is here and alive/well to her. I didn’t feel comfortable criticising her work on the ‘look’ or ‘feel’ since that is so trivial compared to DC being safe and well.

Xx

Ur no way healed after 3 weeks x

I absolutely hated my post baby vagina and vulva - looked like a car crash and didn't work properly either! 3 years later and it was still an absolute mess, really fucked up my head and our sex life. Then I had DD (by c section, but I suspect it was the pregnancy hormones) and it has gone back to looking and functioning somewhere near normal.

So there is hope!

I had forceps, episiotomy and a year with my first. I was a car crash downstairs. You are no way healed at 3 weeks. I was still experiencing pain up until 4 months. I spoke to my GP at my 8 week check and he said it would take 4-6 months to heal. After 6 month it did and it no longer felt like me insides were going to fall out my vagina.

Speak to you GP when you see them. It may be that you need corrective surgery