To complain to school?

[Redcups64]

A little background, my child is in primary school and has always done incredibly well, coming home with gleaming school reports and mock grades every year. She is very polite and well mannered, very mature for her age but shy and doesn’t speak out or stand up for herself.

At the beginning of the school year in October my daughter mentioned to me that a child she sits next too is very distracting and talks a lot. I said to my daughter at the time that she will meet people like that in the world when she is an adult and you have to deal with it and get on with your work.

Now this is the thing, her report cam through and she has dropped a grade on every single subject, bearing in mind she has always got a high grade every year. When I gently asked her about it she mentioned straight away the child she sits next too being very distracting, this is 9 months down the line since she told me and mentioned it straight away when I asked her.

I feel so awful like I’ve let her down, she doesn’t speak up for herself and I know this about my child and when she came to me I brushed her off 😭

Instead of the other child being helped by my child sitting next to here instead she has gotten distracted and fallen down a grade!

Should I request next year she doesn’t sit next to this child or not?

I’m feeling all the mum guilt at the moment as I didn’t do anything, please give me your advice on if I should mention this to the school

Sorry and to answer your question I wouldn't 'complain', I'd ask to speak to the teacher and talk it through. Have they all dropped a grade due to home learning / lock down?

One of mine has dropped down in the ‘above level’ ‘at expected level’ ‘below expected level’ if that is what you mean??
I’ve put it down to work getting more difficult as they’ve got older and the fact that lockdown has meant they’ve only been graded until March rather than June. I haven’t even discussed it with DC and certainly wouldn’t be raising it with school right now. I’m just focusing on getting DC to do more home schooling when we can in preparation for September.
Oh and this DC is in a VERY disruptive class but that’s life.

Has she not just dropped a grade because the school never taught the whole curriculum due to lockdown?

Our school policy was to assess the children from when we last saw them, so March. As only just over half the curriculum had been taught by then, every child is a grade lower than what they would have been but this will go back to normal for most children next year after all the gaps have been filled alongside their learning for their new year group.

If you feel that your child is being distracted by another child then you can certainly speak to the teacher about your concern.
If your child is re-seated and her grades improve then you’ll know you were right.
I know that sounds simplistic but I had this issue with my son in year 2.
He was moved( note that the bully/distracter wasn’t moved) and he improved greatly and became more confident in class.

I thought those in school grades had also been scrapped in schools because well schools got closed.

It might be her wondering what's going on that's had an effect on her learning.

Is she distracted easily when not in school?

You are linking the 2 things when there may be no link.

Also I had the exact same issue with one of my DS in ye4 he was sat next to a little girl who talked too much and he really didn't like it. He mentioned it in a timely way just before parents evening so i mentioned it to his teacher. it worked and his work improved.

i think sometimes as a parent we also have to step up but it was entirely chance that DS raised it just before parents evening.

don't blame her or yourself or tbe other chikd just learn from it.

personally i am a complete introvert and would hate to be next to a noisy person.

Most likely scenario is that she hasn’t been working as hard as she could and has found an excuse that you'll buy to get herself off the hook.

Talk to her teacher, but be prepared that the teacher may say that she's old enough to be taking responsibility for her own behaviour.

You have assumed the other child is the issue which I think is a bit of an error. Given that your dd is easily distracted, simply ask next year's teacher to sit her by a child who is less likely to chatter. I would also be having a firm word with dd to tell her that it takes 2 to chat so she must be also distracting her friend.

It won’t be because of a disruptive child. Talk to the teacher.

Because A) a child doesn’t drop grades in every subject over what was only half a year because of one distraction. Primary schools work in various different group settings, not just sitting at one desk. Some subjects are even taken in different areas. “Every subject” presumably includes PE, music, art and craft. Unless this child was by her side, talking in her ear for 6 hours a day, it won’t be the reason. And B) if a child were so disruptive that the average child next to them was dropping an entire grade in all subjects, that would not go unnoticed even by the least observant teacher and the disruption would be dealt with.

The more likely scenario is the one already stated by many here - some kids drop off in attainment as they rise up the classes in primary school and things get more tricky. Always best to start with that assumption rather than going straight to assuming the school is at fault.

Should have bolded How can you say that? Nobody knows for sure. in my response above.

I'm surprised they're not moved around every month?

Yak to the school. You’re making assumptions here.

Yak? I meant talk! Please don’t yak

I'm puzzled by the lack of mention of lockdown too. Have both of these children been in school for the last 4 months??

How is she going to school over lockdown?

Primary school children don’t come home with mock grades.

Mine have been in school as we are keyworkers. Why is that the bit that’s unbelievable?