Page 2 | To not want other people's dogs to stay

kitkatkoo · 2020-07-08T11:01:40+00:00

My sister in law wants to come visit later this month for about a week - but has three dogs! Two spaniels and a greyhound. It's not that we don't have space - but we already have three big dogs. I'm pretty strict with my three - not on the sofas, etc., and they'll happily go into the stables if they come back from a walk wet, but the SIL's dogs jump about on the furniture, and would bark/scratch if left outside in the (warm, dry) stables ... ugh. I'd love to see my in-laws, but it stresses me out when they're here because i don't want dogs messing up the house. SIL is renting her house out for cash while she's away too - so could easily pay for kennels ...

MrsMozartMkII · 08/07/2020 16:47

I have four dogs and daughters have three dogs between them.

We have big runs in the garden that visiting dogs go in. They don't go in the house. One exception is the visiting old lad, but he has to behave. To be fair all their dogs are pretty well trained.

No way are any dogs leaping about all over the place.

YANBU!

UserErrorMessage · 08/07/2020 16:48

You’ve every right to say no and she has every right to decide not to stay. We go everywhere with our dog but if someone wasn’t comfortable with him being around I have no issue with that.

lifestooshort123 · 08/07/2020 16:51

hibbledobble
The OP leaves them in an outside stable to dry off if they come back from a walk wet. They're not chained to a concrete post with an old bone to chew on for hours on end - sounds sensible to me! Personally, I think a dog should know its place and be well trained and sounds as though the OP has cracked it so, no, she is NBU.

Alltheyoungpups · 08/07/2020 16:56

yeah I understand that, but she doesn't appear to like them much. I would never leave dogs in an out building, they are social animals.

Oh don't be daft, half an hour in a dry stable, 3 of them together? What on earth is the problem with that

Timekeeper1 · 08/07/2020 17:52

@hibbledobble

yeah I understand that, but she doesn't appear to like them much. I would never leave dogs in an out building, they are social animals.

I don't think a week is going to destroy them. They don't need to be around humans 24/7/365. Besides there are 3 of them to keep each other company.

Timekeeper1 · 08/07/2020 17:59

Agreed with lifestooshort123. It's a dog, an animal. Not a newborn baby that needs you 24/7. Dogs where I am stay outside. They do not need human contact 24/7/365. They should not be treated on the same level as humans. If you can't leave your dog with a trusted friend, or have a friend pop over to top up their food and water each day, or leave them in a professional kennel, you will be forced to stay home all the time and NEVER go on holidays anywhere. You can't put your entire life on hold and never go anywhere just because of a dog.

SurreyHillsGirl · 08/07/2020 18:31

I have two dogs. We have people over loads and I love it when my family and friends bring their dogs to stay and so do my dogs! Stables are not warm in the winter by the way, they can be absolutely Baltic, really no place for a dog, they don’t tolerate cold temperatures like horses can, please bring them inside when it gets cold (unless they are dogs bred for cold weather of course)

UserErrorMessage · 08/07/2020 19:42

My dog sleeps on our bed - he gets cold around 4am and gets under the covers - the stables wouldn't suit him...the floor (with his own bed) that we insist he sleeps on in other people's houses barely suits him...he's not happy. So he's spoilt - we're all ok with that!😁

BlessYourCottonSocks · 08/07/2020 19:48

I think it's your house and you are perfectly at liberty to say not to bring the dogs.

My MiL was huffy when we told her she couldn't bring her dog to stay - but it's a sod of a thing that bullies our dog and makes him miserable and stressed, so we didn't see why he should have to tolerate that in his own home.

We leave our DDog with DD now if we go up to MiLs

Alltheyoungpups · 08/07/2020 20:41

Stables are not warm in the winter by the way, they can be absolutely Baltic, really no place for a dog, they don’t tolerate cold temperatures like horses can, please bring them inside when it gets cold (unless they are dogs bred for cold weather of course)

They get popped in there when it's wet! There are 3 of them, I'm sure they'll survive for half an hour.

notquiteruralbliss · 08/07/2020 20:54

Absolutely your right not to want them to stay but there is no way I would stay somewhere my dogs were not welcome in the house. I wouldn't be offended but I wouldn't put myself out to visit.

UserErrorMessage · 08/07/2020 20:55

@Alltheyoungpups

Stables are not warm in the winter by the way, they can be absolutely Baltic, really no place for a dog, they don’t tolerate cold temperatures like horses can, please bring them inside when it gets cold (unless they are dogs bred for cold weather of course)

They get popped in there when it's wet! There are 3 of them, I'm sure they'll survive for half an hour.

Disagree when they are wet they will be cold, they need a good towelling down and sat beside a warm element if it's cold.

redastherose · 08/07/2020 21:14

Relatives with dogs are particularly difficult, in your case I'd say these are details of kennels nearby, we'd love to see you but can't accommodate the dogs unfortunately. In my case it is my DM,I don't live in the uk, when she and my sister (lives with mum/joined at the hip) come to visit they insist on bringing my mums dog, Thus is despite the fact that I have two cats and a dog myself. Mums dog is confined to the utility room and garage for the stay but she constantly 'accidentally' lets her 'escape'. It is infuriating and soooo predictable but I would never see my mum if she didn't bring her! Frankly not worth it though with the upset it causes my pets.

hibbledobble · 08/07/2020 22:59

Agreed with lifestooshort123. It's a dog, an animal. Not a newborn baby that needs you 24/7. Dogs where I am stay outside. They do not need human contact 24/7/365. They should not be treated on the same level as humans. If you can't leave your dog with a trusted friend, or have a friend pop over to top up their food and water each day, or leave them in a professional kennel, you will be forced to stay home all the time and NEVER go on holidays anywhere. You can't put your entire life on hold and never go anywhere just because of a dog

I sincerely hope no one is stupid and cruel enough to think it's acceptable to leave a dog home alone for an extended period, with someone just topping food and water up once a day.

Cherrysoup · 08/07/2020 23:14

so if he wasn’t welcome then we would choose not to visit.

I find that a ridiculous attitude and I’m definitely my dogs’ “mummy’, totally dopey over them. However, I wouldn’t dream of taking them anywhere with me, it isn’t fair on my hosts or their animals. Equally, anyone coming to mine would not be bringing their dogs. It would stress mine out which isn’t fair.

EugenesAxe · 08/07/2020 23:35

Be prepared that she won't come if you ban her pets

Can't help thinking that wouldn't be a great loss.

Humans are social animals. I don't turn into a quivering wreck if I'm out alone on a walk for 4 hours. Why wouldn't you save your upholstery if your dog quite happily stayed out of the house for while, especially if it was with your other dogs?! What about dogs that are regularly left when their owners are at work... or is that OK because they're in a house rather than an 'outbuilding'?

Timekeeper1 · 09/07/2020 07:52

@hibbledobble

Agreed with lifestooshort123. It's a dog, an animal. Not a newborn baby that needs you 24/7. Dogs where I am stay outside. They do not need human contact 24/7/365. They should not be treated on the same level as humans. If you can't leave your dog with a trusted friend, or have a friend pop over to top up their food and water each day, or leave them in a professional kennel, you will be forced to stay home all the time and NEVER go on holidays anywhere. You can't put your entire life on hold and never go anywhere just because of a dog

I sincerely hope no one is stupid and cruel enough to think it's acceptable to leave a dog home alone for an extended period, with someone just topping food and water up once a day.

@hibbledobble In Australia, many people do. Especially with backyards the dog can run around in, shelter, etc. I sincerely hope that most people don't share your opinion that a dog cannot be left in it's own yard for any time. Many people here go away for a few days to a week and have a neighbour pop next door to feed the dog. That's completely normal. There is nothing cruel about a dog being in it's own yard ffs.

Timekeeper1 · 09/07/2020 07:55

Just when I thought some dog people couldn't get more hysterical and ridiculous....

Ragwort · 09/07/2020 08:00

I don't allow guests to visit if they want to bring their dogs, if they are not happy with that then they don't have to visit it's not the end of the world. Personally I don't stay with friends/family who have dogs, if I visit I book into a local B & B or hotel, suits everyone and no hard feelings.

okiedokieme · 09/07/2020 08:03

My ddog goes visiting but he's well behaved, certainly no jumping around furniture and at mums he gets left in the tiled kitchen if he's wet.

HowFastIsTooFast · 09/07/2020 08:05

It's the same in Central America @Timekeeper1. The culture there is that dogs are treated more like cats, they're loved, fed and cared for, but when the owners go out to work or whatever the dogs go in the garden/yard/kennel/stables until they come home.

It's not an unusual sight to see a pack of the neighbourhood dogs all roaming around town together during the day, all neat and groomed and sporting shiny collars. Then they go home at night for food and shelter.

I'm not saying that it's right, but it's a fact and the dogs all survive perfectly well without being babied.

BigSpringy · 09/07/2020 08:52

I'm not saying that it's right, but it's a fact and the dogs all survive perfectly well without being babied.

They do. In fact, the vast majority of the world's dog population live without a human-provided bed or food. Home-kept pets are the minority share. Their ability to adapt to such a wide variety of living environments is what makes them so successful.

But I don't undestand why people so often have their whole character written off because they choose to let their dogs on sofas or beds, or want to take them with them when they travel. Or because they don't and keep their dogs in runs or put them in kennels.

By all means the OP is within her rights to say these dogs cannot come and stay. But letting dogs jump on sofas does not make the SIL so worthless as a person that it's "no great loss" to never see her. Similarly, putting 3 large dogs in a stable to dry off after a wet walk does not make the OP some kind of cruel or neglecting owner.