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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to take DS to hospital after car accident?

17 replies

bravissimo · 27/09/2007 18:00

Am i over reacting? Was on way to party for SIL thrown by PIL, a car slammed into the back of our car - we all shook in the car but no one was hurt and because we have a big 4x4 there was only damage to the bumper. We were literally turning into MIL's road so we continued to the party. We were all in shock and i wanted to take DS to hospital to be looked at - he is 8 1/2 weeks - though he slept throughout and did not seem phased by the accident. But impact of car was on side of DS. DH tried to make out i was over reacting and so did PIL. MIL insisted DS was fine and that i should go and get something to eat and leave her to look after him as he was in her opinion perfectly fine. She didn't even want to let me take him out of the car seat when we got there to see if he was ok insisting that she would do it. i had to insist that i would do it. Would anyone really leave their DC to get something to eat after an accident no matter how minor??? I didn't want to make a big deal of it as it was SIL's day. Back at home now and DS does seem fine but was i really over reacting? Prob obvious that there are MIL issues here, she's always trying to take over with DS - though apart from this we do really get on very well!!

OP posts:
hertsnessex · 27/09/2007 18:03

if it was v minor i wouldnt take them, but guessing this is your first and you are understandably nervous. its upto you however, if you want to, then take him jsut to be sure. be prepared for a long wait!

Saturn74 · 27/09/2007 18:03

Glad all is well, it must have been very frightening.
Did you take him to hospital in the end?
Stand firm and set the ground rules re DS with your MIL now, or you'll become more and more resentful.,
He's your son, not hers, and whilst she has a very important place in his life as his grandmother, you and your DH decide what happens and when regarding him.

EricL · 27/09/2007 18:06

No - i wouldn't take them for that.

It's up to you though - if you feel like this you should have really. No point sitting there with regrets and worries.

MrsMarvel · 27/09/2007 18:07

No yanbu. There's a point where you have to back off and let a mother act on her instincts and this was one of them. My dp was like that before when mine was ill - didn't want to cause a fuss - but I'm glad I fought and went in the end. Trust your instincts Mama!

LIZS · 27/09/2007 18:10

I bumped into the back of another car on black ice in -6 o c on top of a hill when dd was about 14 weeks old, similar damage. dh was away and I just wanted to get us all home . Other driver was a pita , jabbered at me in colloquial Swiss German (we were living in Zurich) and insisted on talking outside even though it was so cold and ignored the kids. She slept throughout and was fine so didn't get her checked until next day or so when we had an appointment anyway

dd was fine, as was ds for that matter. I suspect you are being oversensitive to mil because you were in shock yourself at the time, operating on autopilot, but obviously would n't see that at the time. I'm sure she recognises that and was trying to be helpful and calming.

crokky · 27/09/2007 18:12

It is most likely DS is fine, however, if it was me, I would take him to the hospital.

You are his mother and it is your decision.

Re the hospital wait, if you go to A&E and say you have an 8.5 week old baby who has been in a car accident, it is likely that they will see you in under 5 minutes. They prioritise cases and babies this young will be a high priority.

edam · 27/09/2007 18:15

That must have been a nasty shock, esp. when you have that protective mother of tiny baby head on. I wouldn't have taken the baby to hospital as she a. slept through and b. seemed fine. But MIL was being too bossy IMO - not a good idea to get between an anxious mother and her child. Although she may have been trying to be helpful. Good on you for insisting.

NurseyJo · 27/09/2007 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
bravissimo · 27/09/2007 18:28

Thanks for your replies! i was in shock for a good couple of hours later - i didn't take him to the hospital as i got my dad (who is a dr and visiting!!) to look at him and he is fine - but if he wasn't here i would prob have taken him in the end as I can't help but worry a lot about everything and i would rather be safe then sorry! it's just that we were all shaken with the impact and I wondered what that would have done to his little head? He is my first and i know i have worried endlessly about everything unnecessarily!

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/09/2007 18:30

If she slept through it I'd say yes, YABU.

If she was crying or distressed then yes, you ought to have taken her.

canmummy · 27/09/2007 18:30

I had a small accident similar to yours when dd1 was 21months (so I agree not the same as yours as she was a lot bigger). They hit the side of the car where she was sitting as well.

However, as I was 3 days from being induced with dd2 a by-stander called an ambulance for me

When we got to the hospital they never even checked dd1 in. I did think later (like a few years later!) that there is a lot of advice saying you should get a new car seat however minor the bump so you might want to consider that?

Original poster
bravissimo · 27/09/2007 18:33

Car seat seems fine - but not sure if there is any internal damage??? is there a place that you can get your seat checked at?

OP posts:
Niecie · 27/09/2007 18:39

If the baby slept through it and he woke as normal afterwards I wouldn't have bothered but I wouldn't have let my MIL let me if I was really worried. |That is easy for me to say though as I wasn't there and it hasn't happened to my child.

Difficult though when everybody around you is making your feel like a neurotic and over protective first timer even if you had genuine cause for concern. It is your child though and you need to do what you think is right.

I am glad that everybody is OK now.

Original poster
bravissimo · 27/09/2007 18:39

i've also heard that you should always replace the car seat no matter how minor the impact - i know that i wouldn't use a car seat that belonged to someone else if i had known that seat had been in an accident already! i wonder if the other party's insurance company will cover the cost of a new seat as well as the damage to the car.

OP posts:
Original poster
bravissimo · 27/09/2007 18:45

i know, if it was someone else i would probably say not to worry to calm them down but it's difficult not to over react when it's your own little precious child. Yes, i was made to feel neurotic when i think it's understandable that someone may over react in that situation iyswim!

OP posts:
LadyVictoriaOfCake · 27/09/2007 18:54

yes to replacing the car seat. they should cover it on insurence.

Eliza2 · 27/09/2007 19:05

Glad all is OK!

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