To wish my DM and DF would stop speaking to me about their sex life?

[Camouflaged64]

I wasn't close to my DM or DF growing up, always arguing and some things that happened I will never forgive them for however when I had kids I thought it was best for them to have a relationship with them.

Now the tables have turned and I'm becoming a therapist, they tell me all their problems even in the bedroom down to the very last detail. I get a phone call from one moaning about the other and then I get the other asking what has been said about them. Sometimes I could scream because of the awkward positions they put me in.

I know if I say the wrong thing they would cut me off because that's just how they are but even though I'm in my 30's I don't feel like I've had a parental figure to guide me. AIBU to just want someone to ask how I am doing or care?

I don't know what to do anymore.

What stops you from saying, "please don't tell me about your issues (so often/in such detail) as I'm not comfortable with it - you're my parents!"?

I suppose what stops me is that that is the only time I really get to speak to them, they wouldn't bother to ring any other time and I'm holding onto the 'relationship' we have got because of how awful it was in my childhood.

I also know that if I said something that they deemed to be wrong they would ignore me for a long time.

They were awful.
They are being awful.
Time to set some boundaries.
You’re an adult. If they can’t respect you and treat you as you deserve then maybe your better off if they do leave you alone.

Ah, so they are in fact inadequate parents all round in general. Ok so that's hard on you, I'm sorry to read it. Could you bring the conversations to an rapid end? "Oh something has just boiled over/kids need me/neighbour calling" stuff? The bigger issue is the intolerable one - having parents who don't "see" you. You know I'm going to say "therapy"

• it's helped me process my far from perfect upbringing. Good luck