I find it impossible and I need to learn, fast. I’m a people pleaser and it’s killing me. Even heavy duty anxiety medication isn’t helping right now, and I’m wondering if I’m actually just not standing up for myself.
So here’s the situation. It’s your oldest, best friend. The person who is closest to family to you. She’s a bit full on. She has a habit of it being her way or the highway.
She wanted to see you the weekend before a big event for you, but then decided at that meet-up that she wanted to see you on the day it was officially announced instead. You couldn’t do that, explained why and apologised (work, the presentation, etc), suggested the day before; and she said she was already busy and she’d catch up with you next weekend. But she’s messaged today; while you’re at the presentation, saying she hopes you’re enjoying yourself and that she’ll see you tomorrow to catch up.
You can’t, you’re working. Do you apologise? Say you’re busy? Use the same tone/disconnect as she did before?
She’s lovely, but she does not seem to like me working in my industry as the hours are long, and she thinks friends should come before work. She’s lucky enough that she doesn’t need to work, she’s a SAHM, and she seems to see most of her other close friends almost daily, much more than she sees me. I try for weekly; but even that feels like a lot of pressure sometimes!
I would be so grateful for help. I know how stupid this sounds but it’s driving me crazy. I feel like such a cow saying no to anything, ever.