to think some of us enjoyed lockdown because

[beatrixpotterspencil]

we realised there was more to life than social obligations and work?

for clarification, this isn't neccesarily how I see it, but I have been reading a discussion about it and wanted to hear what others thought. I'm on the fence, personally

less pollution, less commuting, bosses not hanging over your head, less exhaustion, less of the treadmill lifestyle, less social posturing, less consuming crap we don't need, etc.

and more time with loved ones (only for some though), more time to read, learn, explore, self improvement, choosing own hours, working to own rhythm, etc.

this is a theoretic question really, about what we really want, and what has lockdown done to change how you perceive your life?
would a life without work be better, more humane?
the dole sure isn't fun, nor should it be considered a choice, and there's no other way to survive unless very well off.

(wish to add here that I know millions have not had the luxury of enjoying the lockdown, many have not altered their working life, and many are ill, afraid of redundancy, homelessness, anxious... and worse, those who have passed away).

Yeah obviously it will vary. The people I am talking about are senior managers in organisations where they paid 100% furlough (topping up the missing 20%) so it was a huge benefit to be furloughed, especially if you have childcare issues.

Those people are the boss's favourites/mates outside work and won't be losing their jobs. Continuing to work whilst everyone else was at home painting their toenails on full pay was definitely seen as a punishment by most who had to do it. Plenty of threads about it on here!!!

I’ve had a great time. I have been working from home and managed to get 7 hours work done in 5, no commute, spending time in the garden, decorating, crafting and so on. I have loved having all of my children here and have spent so much quality time with them.

BUT that is from a purely selfish point of view. I’ve loved having all the children here but ds1 travelling plans were cut short and twin ds who had their 18th during lockdown have hated it. They had planned the ‘summer of their lives‘ which they have worked hard for. Uni isn’t doing freshers week and we aren’t even sure if they are going. They have hated all of it.

In my DH’s firm, they wanted those to work who could carry them through, not the lazy arses.

@narrowboatgirl

The comment from someone saying she was happy that some people who are socially isolated are miserable because “now they how it feels” (like being forcibly locked up alone in a flat for four months is remotely comparable to feeling social pressure to party more!) went beyond sneering to genuine malice. There have been lots of sneery judgy comments about “extroverts” but most of these comments are from people who live with family so get 24/7 social interaction anyway!

I’ve been pretty much housebound for years. My twice a month social outings were literally a life saver, and that’s all been taken away from me. I’ve not spoken to a single person in over a month. Yes, I have a basic human need for social contact. Stop sneering that I’m some sort of shallow bullying “extrovert” for needing social contact and ohhh if only I could be like those lovely enlightened introverts floating around all peaceful and self-contained.

Why the need for such judgement? Why can’t people just say “I’m an introvert so I’ve enjoyed it” without needing to tag “unlike those awful awful extroverts” on the end? On MN the word “extrovert” appears to mean anyone who isn’t a hermit.

Many people who have loved bragging about how much they love the hermit lifestyle, and how shallow people are who miss going out and holidays, sound just like that paragon of good breeding, Mrs Elton.

"I honestly said that the world I could give upparties, balls, playsfor I had no fear of retirement. Blessed with so many resources within myself, the world was not necessary to me. I could do very well without it. To those who had no resources it was a different thing; but my resources made me quite independent."

The first 2 months were tough as I moved out and carried on working leaving 2 year old and shielding DH at home. I didnt feel like I had a choice at the time, it's my job to care for others (frontline NHS). It broke me so I came home. Putting ourselves back together has been hard but being with my family is the best thing I could have. It is genuinely uplifting to hear the positive stories from lockdown as it has felt so very bleak. Seeing the changes in DD was mind blowing and when she finally hugged me when I got home it was the most incredible feeling.

narrowboatgirl:
"Why can’t people just say “I’m an introvert so I’ve enjoyed it” without needing to tag “unlike those awful awful extroverts” on the end?"

I quite agree. I'm an introvert so I've enjoyed it :-).

People who have been going stir crazy have my sympathy.

We're all different.

Same here, Averyslover. It is terribly bad luck for young people. Ds is getting pretty down.

[quote lilgreen]@lockdownalli I’ve heard the opposite. Manager furloughing those who don’t pull their weight with the intention of redundancy.[/quote]
Where I work it has been a case of keeping on the most competent and necessary people and furloughing the rest otherwise we will all lose our jobs.

We have been so busy that we have unfurloughed all but one member of our team and taken on two more people in our department. One person who needs to be micro-managed is leaving, and the one who causes all the trouble is still on furlough.

I'm an extreme introvert too. I think something that's been overlooked is that there's a difference between being an introvert living with a loving family surrounded by people all day, and an introvert living in total solitary isolation.

more time to read, learn, explore, self improvement, choosing own hours, working to own rhythm, etc.

not for me, business as usual, but doing it at home with kids and having to be a teacher thrown in. Yes, the morning rush has gone, but that is the only positive for me. I wish people would realise that lockdown wasn't all Netflicks, origami and building dens.

Absolutely, narrowboatgirl.

There’s a kind of smug “you’ve missed the boat” thing going on. Those in the lifeboats with a nice little family, a safe job and nice house and garden have sailed off and are waving at the saddos who are lonely, or have lost their jobs, or live in a flat.... or all three!

Fwiw I am not big on going out, and live a “small” life. However, I can see the situation is damn terrible for some. Some people seem to be rubbing their hands at “the simple life” - but that’s a crap life for many, many who are not ticking all the lockdown boxes.

I think it depends on your level of privilege. If you have a very comfortable home and plenty of disposable income to spend on increased food prices, gardening, home improvement projects, crafting and all the rest of it, I can imagine it’s been good. If you’re on a tight budget or anywhere near the poverty line, it’s probably been pretty shit. This lockdown has simply highlighted the massive extremes in lifestyle within our society.

Bit of a cross post with @IrmaFayLear I think.

I don't feel guilty about not going out although when things ease those feeling will come back
I'm a home bird and an early bedder my friends don't get this

I enjoy not paying put for child care and parking, but that's about it.

I couldn't wfh full time & homeschool so that never happened. My job got a million times busier because of covid and sometimes quite traumatic. My kids got severe cabin fever because you can only walk around the same streets for so long before its dull.

I miss my friends, I miss my hobbies, I miss the freedom of socialising and hitting the shops. I hate the bastard queuing and social distancing bullshit.

Most of all I hate the fact that the government came along and rail roaded us all to stay in our homes for months on end & everyone rolled over. North Korea would be proud.

Nail on the head, OP, particularly with the social obligations. I always knew work was a pain! But it’s such a drag filling up your calendar for the foreseeable with promises to others and never being able to be spontaneous or lazy without having to feel guilty. Nice also to have really simple outings,

it’s such a drag filling up your calendar for the foreseeable with promises to others

Don't then. As we don't live near family or friends our calendar is never full. We usually do things spontaneously.

Its been an interesting exercise in finding out my minimal needs to function.
Now I know exactly how little social interaction, fun and down time I can manage on.
I know the exact amount of play my kids need with other kids and the exact amount of interaction they need from me me before I can see the toll on their mental health in their behaviour.
It grieves me that I may need to draw on this information in the future. Because capitalism, international travel and factory farming may cause this scenario to reoccur multiple times in the future.
I feel a bit of an asshole for bringing kids into this world, knowing what I did about the likelihood of environmental collapse.
I didnt know this exact thing would happen. I wont claim that.
But I surely knew something would happen within their lifetimes.
But then I look at them and I see they are basically OK and I give my head a wobble and try to stop thinking too much about things.

I loved the excuse to cut off social gatherings / visiting etc. Was very happy pottering in my garden and feeling less pressured in general. I also like the queing to get into supermarkets and the one way system and social distancing, it feels less frentic than before and very civilised all queing to be directed to the next available till in order. I struggled working from home though and I'm so much happier to be back in the office now even though it's only me there! I need routine when it comes to work and struggled to keep motivated at home.

Forgot to add that my cat loved me working from home even though I didn't. Little sweetie camped out on my desk and 'helped' lots. Has been very whingey according to my husband since I've been out everyday x

I’m a single parent with a full time job, which has been busier and more stressful during lockdown, so it hasn’t been the easiest time. I have felt incredibly lonely and isolated and realise that going to work, actually being with people rather than just doing the work at home, is really good for my mental health.

However, not doing a daily 2 hour commute has been great and I’ve enjoyed nit getting up at the crack of dawn to take my children to their sports clubs. And I’ve discovered gardening which is a wonderful way to spend hours at the weekend!

@junecat

Forgot to add that my cat loved me working from home even though I didn't. Little sweetie camped out on my desk and 'helped' lots. Has been very whingey according to my husband since I've been out everyday x

Mine 'helped' for a few weeks but the novelty of having me home has definitely worn off, barely see her between mealtimes now

I'm an introvert and haven't missed the social interaction at all. I've not had much of a social life anyway for a few years since I had a baby. I'm definitely not a homebody though - the idea of staying at home was awful, I needed to get out every day and went on walks for hours, finding every possible open space in a 4 mile radius to let my toddler run around. I've quite enjoyed just exploring the local area, we found lots of places that I never knew existed. I didn't do much in the way of home activities, DIY, craft, yoga etc. Just spent the whole day exploring London's hidden gardens, discovering ways to play with DD without a playground.

@user1965785412

people who've enjoyed lockdown probably need to examine why they were living the wrong life before

Because society is not set up in a way that is normally accessible for me without causing me harm. Suddenly that changed and I was able to experience what life is like when you're not continually being beaten down and harmed by systems and processes and ignorant people who don't value you enough to meet your needs as someone with a disability.

So actually I would say you're the privileged one if life was better and easy for you before. Rather than blaming others how about you keep your resentment about the tables being turned to yourself eh.

I totally agree with this. DD is autistic and we rarely got out. She wasn’t at school either. Lockdown has provided us with opportunities we wouldn’t have normally had, like Joe Wicks, or music artists doing live stuff on YouTube etc. Deliveries from places that were previously unable/unwilling to deliver.

My youngest has been flourishing with his learning as well. He hadn’t really learned anything in the few years he has been out school. He can now read better, he knows about continents and planets etc. The school said that his behaviour (ADHD) made it impossible for him to follow the curriculum. At home, because there are less distractions and it is easier for me to focus them learning around his interests, he has improved so much.

Would you consider home schooling @lifeonhardmodept2?

I still think there are a lot of people who will rethink the kind of life they had pre lockdown though. They will have realised that life doesn't come to a full stop if you rush around trying to cram 36 hours worth of activities into 24 hours.