Paying for a passport

[Startagain51]

Split up with my controlling H 18 months ago. Contact with our 13 year old DS has been sporadic.

H has paid no maintenance or anything towards bills for over a year, including all kinds of joint liabilities. I've been struggling to stay afloat, with loans from my Dad and help from wider family and friends.

He now says he has booked a holiday for 2 weeks in the summer, and wants me to apply for a passport for DS. When I asked him how he was going to pay for it, he said we should go halves.

Obviously I would love DS to have a holiday, but he also needs new clothes, and food in his mouth!

AIBU to refuse?

Sorry, so annoyed I might not have been clear - he is paying for the holiday, it's the passport he wants to go halves on.

Suggest to him that he starts 'going halves' with day to day living expenses.
If he wants to take child abroad on holiday, he needs to pay for it, including the passport.

What a knob. Offer to pay half of the passport, as long as he pays half of DS's food, clothes, shoes, school supplies, toiletries, hobbies, haircuts etc.

Why is this happening?

I would pay the £25 if the alternative is ds doesnt get a holiday then chase him up to start paying the joint bills and cms.

What they all said.

Bastards like him make me really angry.

Don't pay, at 13 your son is old enough to understand why you can't afford it. Don't be guilt tripped into paying then carry on not getting proper maintenance

If he can afford a holiday abroad he can afford to pay towards his child. Contact cms first thing if you haven't already. As for the passport I would tell him to take your half out of the maintenance he owes you.

Thanks - I was feeling like a bitch but I'm so angry. I've scrimped and gone without for so long, while he has bought a new vehicle, a caravan, and been on 4 holidays in the time we've been apart. He claims he's on benefits, but I know he's working cash in hand. Obviously I try to 'chase him up' about bills but he just refuses. CMS are hopeless.

IDK if it applies to children but we would need to travel to the next town for the interview, which adds to the cost. They aren't doing interviews at the moment anyway.

There's another way with this if you think your ex is going to want to take your son away quite often. My ex pays £10 a week to support our DD and refused to pay half towards her passport, although he wants to take her away once or twice a year. I paid for the passport, but charge him £20 'admin fee' every time he wants to use it. It pisses him off something rotten and I've got back more than I paid for the passport. I know it's petty and it doesn't make up for all the money the ex hasn't paid in support, but it 'sa small victory!

Your ex H is a bastard and a poor excuse of a Dad, your son deserves better. I would tell your ex to jog on. Also is the holiday for this summer? Good luck with trying to get a passport so soon and if your ex loses money then tough.

You have enough to deal without borrowing from family to facilitate this holiday. At 13 your DS will understand that roof, food and clothing come before holidays. I'm having a bad day but this shit from a shit Dad has made me so cross on your behalf.

I'd suggest he cancels the holidays and uses the money to catch up on child maintenance.

No way would I go halves on a passport if I'd been mucked around like that.

What joint financial commitments does he have. If he is working then he needs to pay his own share.

I paid for the passport, but charge him £20 'admin fee' every time he wants to use it

You are my idol.

Have you gone to cms for maintenance?