To think sister brought this on herself encouraging bullying?

[SquishyBones]

Niece goes to swimming lessons with her friend. The classes are split by ability so you have the dolphins, guppies, tadpoles, plankton and bacteria etc

Obviously swimming lessons were called off when lockdown started but the friends have been talking about them starting up again. Apparently sister received a message off friends mum saying that niece had been bullying her DD over WhatsApp saying she will be back in bacteria as she was always nearly drowning in guppies. This has put the friend off going back as she’s worried about being stuck with the babies and toddlers.

Sister has “told off” niece but I’ve heard her encouraging this shit in the past!! Saying that the girl shouldn’t be in guppies as it’s too advanced for her and she’ll never get into Dolphins like Niece. Obviously niece has picked up on this. I told sister that I didn’t think it was fair for Niece to be told off when she’s only repeating what she herself has been saying! Sister now has a face in with me so next it will be all over the family that I’ve “started on her”. WIBU?? Should I just not have said anything?? This isn’t the only thing she encourages this attitude to either btw

Names are hilarious and although I believed them to be real I just thought whoever named them was an idiot of the highest order 🤣🤣

I make you right on this, I don’t tell my kids off for things they do if I feel it’s learned behaviour from me, sometimes I say things without thinking and turn to them immediately and say “and mummy was wrong for that and you never say such things because it’s rude” and I explain the reasons why!!!

I’ve no idea why my very kind loving and considerate dd has started referring to a friend at the school as having “mental problems” as though it’s condition in itself (I think he’s autistic) and I was horrified and explained to her why that was not ok and I don’t know where she’s picked that up but if she hears it again then she herself is free to issue out a reality check!!

It’s your sisters fault.

The group names have made me smile. No more illogical than the group names that Swim England use... Which I can never remember since they also have numbers and colours.

DDs school has animal class names. My shy child is a Rhino....

Actually further to my pp she says he has “mental health” rather than problems. Mortifying but they don’t know unless they learn!

Fucking Hell, I didn't get beyond the names of the groups.

Here it is a very normal "Pre school" "stage 1" "stage 2" etc.

Just seen your update, you have to find out what the lower groups are called !!

One of them must be tadpoles surely?

Well that was an entertaining 5 minutes!

A good friend of mine claims to have never recovered from failing to progress from being a guppy.

I'm more plankton than dolphin-grade myself.

If its the same grouping as my local it will be these names

Children progress though TURTLES / GUPPIES / DOLPHINS / SHARKS / OCTOPUS

That actually makes a difference as its one level lower rather than 2. although still a horrible thing to say.

Your sister sound like a dick, imagine running down a 10 year old like that and then blaming her own 10 year old when she repeats it

Sister now has a face in with me so next it will be all over the family that I’ve “started on her”

Is this on a family whatapp group or individually? I think you just need to stick to calmly saying you can't give the kids a bollixing for repeating behaviour she's hearing from you. Stay calm and stay on script and don't engage beyond that.

Is there a group called flounders , I'd fit right in.

@butterpuffed

I fit more in with drowners than flounders!

If a child is being unkind (no matter if they're repeating what their mum said) it has to be nipped in the bud. Perhaps that child shouldn't have their phone for a few days if they cant send nice messages.

I feel for children bought up like this. Its like you whole life is one long bitch gossip magazine where people are picked apart for non-existent flaws and no one is ever good enough. Imagine what that does to your self esteem?

YANBU OP - I am also a but surprised that people didn't pick up on the fact that you were being flippant about the names of the groups - as if anyone would really call a kids ability group plankton!

In a swimming teacher as these names for staging real? Bacteria stage only stages I've heard are puddle ducks ducklings then stage 1 upwards. It sounds like you either need to go to a different venue or separate night.

I'm*

@MashedPotatoBrainz

On a complete tangent, my autistic literal minded son was gutted when he graduated squid class and wasn't actually a squid.

Oh bless him! Poor wee squidling

Is there a manatee group? That's what I most resemble in water

@NeverMindDontFuckOffSomeMore

Sorry I'm just stuck on children being bacteria or plankton.

This 🙄😂

Aren’t ‘dolphins’ usually the class/club for swimmers starting out on the competitive swimming pathway (so stage 8+ in the swim England scheme)? It’s fairly standard to refer to that group as dolphins across England. Many pools have a dolphins club/squad. It’s not usually a mid-stage in the standard lessons scheme.

Regardless, your niece is being horrible.

As is your sister. (Uncharitably, I’d be tempted to point out to her DD is clearly not as amazing a swimmer as she’s imagining - or she wouldn’t be in the standard lessons at the leisure centre at 10 - so it would be a very good idea for them both to learn some humility about it).

do you turn green in plankton? thanks for the laugh op!
Seriously I looked after a d(?)c who was good at sport (under 10) & was a right little toad to other dc calling them losers because they weren't good at sport -