To feel like I should do something during my mat/career break?

[SpicyEnchiladas]

I have two daughters aged 9 and 2. I left my teaching job last year after returning from maternity leave. I worked for 4 months until the end of the school year and found it to be extremely difficult and draining with my then 10 month old DD. After so much thought and a new nasty SLT link I decided that I would like to stay at home and spend another two years with my little daughter until she's 3.
Now that I've been home since September, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. Obviously the lockdown has destroyed all of the plans that we were all excited to do while I'm home, but I don't feel like I've challenged myself intellectually at all or even enjoyed my time at home. I know that this wasn't what I'm meant to be focusing on since the main reason for leaving was to spend more time with my toddler and have some time for myself, however all i'm doing now is childcare childcare childcare housekeeping and childcare!

I never thought I'll say this but I miss my time at work, banter with colleagues, 10 minutes coffee break after school ...! Unfortunately my husband's work has been affected by the pandemic and as a result he will be going abroad for a year from August. Which means I must stay at home another year with the girls as we will be financially and generally better off. I'm thinking of doing a new course, learning a new skill ...etc but I'm so confused. I don't know what to do! Can anyone help please, if you've taken a career break did you use that time to study something new? If not, any tips on how to make the break more enjoyable given the status quo...

No advice but I'm on maternity leave at the moment and it's so hard during lockdown. Lack of classes and social contact make it so hard. Made me realise I definitely do want to go back to work and I'm not going to romanticise about being a SAHM.
Could you do some sort of mentoring of volunteering and put the kids in childcare a couple of days a week. I'd love to go and help literacy in prisons or volunteer for citizen's advice.

Could the enhanced income from dh not go someway to enable you to get back to work? You seem to really want to be back.

I'm the same.

Even part time may take the edge of the having to be the one on duty all the time.

Would work cover the costs of childcare (or even mostly cover it)? When I went back to work after my first mat leave. We just about broke even with my added salary and the costs of childcare. But nevermind because it was absolutely amazing to be back to work! The difference in my mental health was significant. And I appreciated the time I was home more. For my own sanity, I'd find ways to cut spending and get some childcare to get back to work. Even private tutoring or something similar would be better than nothing, I'd imagine.

I started a masters and did some volunteering during a career break as I was crap at housework and needed to feel like I was achieving something!

Solidarity. 🤜

I am on mat leave now with a crawling baby and it is so tough. I am counting down the weeks until I go back part time because of all the reasons you mention: being able to talk to co-workers, intellectual simulation, not being responsible for another life 24/7.

I struggle to do anything with mobile baby/toddler and am really missing baby groups I took my first dc to. I am not sure how feasible studying or volunteering is if you have a dd in tow with you though. What were your plans pre-Covid?

Hi OP,
I’m in a similar boat. I left teaching last year in early pregnancy but this was due to a family relocation. I have three children whom I love so much but full time SAHP isn’t for me! I’m not going back to teaching in the near future but I’m starting a uni course for vocational job. It will be very PT even when I qualify and will be more of a paid hobby whilst my children are young with a view to maybe go back to teaching when they are older. Like you, I miss the banter with colleagues, the intellectual stimulation and having a multifaceted identity rather than being at home all the time. I’m sure I’d feel differently if it weren’t for the current pandemic which was thrown into the mix with a newborn and all the fun classes/coffee dates disappeared! However I’m so excited to have something for myself come September!

On my Career break I did a vocational degree. This included work placements.

Might not have been in the spirit of taking a career break but didn’t break the policy of taking one.

I also had another baby!

There are so many courses online for short qualifications.

Apologies for my late reply.

@positivity123 I’d love to volunteer however there’s nothing around where I live. Next year I will be doing all the school runs and I’m scared of committing to something and ending up not being good enough especially that I have no one around to turn to just in case.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Unfortunately it’s very rare to find part time jobs where I live in general and especially for teachers. We’ve planned to send DD2 to nursery for 2 days a week so I can have break and she can benefit from being with other children. I want to make use of those two days and be a bit more productive but I’m so lost atm!

@mindutopia I don’t blame you! I completely understand but I don’t want to go back to work and give nearly 90% of salary to the nursery and most importantly bring tons of work with me home every night. If my DD2 wasn’t such a clingy difficult toddler we would possibly consider returning to work, but I literally cannot sit for a few minutes on my phone before she starts screaming because she’s 😐 bored 😐!

@bashcrashfall That’s amazing! If you don’t mind me asking, did you study something related to your job or did you go for a completely different course? I’m considering a masters degree but I don’t want to spend the money just because I wanted to keep myself occupied.

@EugeniaGrace What a lovely name btw! I miss the classes so much that I’m ready to queue outside at the crack of dawn when they’ll open again. The plans were to go on holidays every half term, some were planned abroad and others in the UK. We also planned to travel to some relatives over a few weekends and host them back again. Swimming, yoga and dance classes all went away obviously!

Have you thought about supply teaching? The odd days here and there? A friend of mine did this after her son was born and it worked very well for her. I think she said she was available Thursdays and Fridays and put her son in nursery then. I don't think it was always very easy for her - she never knew where she would be - but there wasn't any lesson planning so she had more time at home with her child.

@blondie87 You sound like you’ve made a fab plan! I agree with you about the experience probably being different if this whole damn virus wasn’t there.

@CornishTiger I’d love to do a vocational course but I’m not decisive about what to study yet. I will have a look online. Thank you.

@helia I’ve done supply before and honestly it wasn’t for me. I like to teach lessons that I’ve planned myself and tbh the behaviour was awful and sadly it impacts the rest of my day.

I agree about the supply teaching- all my favourite parts of the job aren’t there like building up rapport with your own classes, having work friends and yes, generally very poor behaviour when a cover teacher is used!

OP you could do online tutoring. I realise this would still be from home but it might earn enough for you to employ a baby sitter to have the DC whilst you work.

It was sort of connected. I was a secondary school teacher before children and it is a masters in the subject I used to teach so would be helpful when/if I go back to that. However I'm currently working in a university, and got the job a year into my part time course. It was good to help demonstrate time management and some understanding of recent student experience.