To think I don't favour my oldest sisters kids

[Raffleyourdoughnut]

I have two sisters both have kids. Sister A has 3 dc (14,13 and 11) sister B has 1 dc who is 3.

Sister A lives 10 minutes away from me and sister B lives 4/6 hour round trip away.

Since my sister A's dc were little I would see them about twice a week, once after work and on a sunday morning for an hour. Because my sister B lives a distance away its not practical to go during the week after work and I can't manage going every weekend. It's too long a drive. I am disabled so driving that far each week isn't practical. My sister B moans about having to come to me because of the distance 🤔.

So the current complaint from sister B is that I offered to watch my sister A kids one day a week whilst she is at work should the schools not go back full time. I work from home. Kids are older so don't really need any major supervision. As it is likely that the schools are going back full-time in August I'm not needed.

My sister B had suggested that I watch her 3 year old one day a week. For information my sister is a SAHP so it's not for childcare. I have explained to her that it's not practical because I'm having to work and I can't watch him at same time. I have also suggested that I could babysit at the weekend for a few hours. Watching him for a full day would be too much as he is a bundle of energy and I would be too tired and would overdo it. I did watch sister A kids when they were younger but I was 10 years younger as well and it was never for a full day at that age. I was more mobile then and in slightly better health.

Nothing I suggest is good enough and is compared to how I was 10 years ago with sister A's dc.

We have just had another argument about me favouring my other DNs. This time it was about skyping my sisters A dc. I have tried to do it for my 3 year old DN, he isn't interested! I do get were she is coming from but she did choose to move away. If she lived closer it wouldn't be as much as an issue.

Does this sound like I'm favouring my other sisters dc? What can I suggest that would help resolve the issue?

So is she proposing to drive her child 2hrs each way while you mind them while working?

She's not being realistic, she doesn't live just down the road.

So is she proposing to drive her child 2hrs each way while you mind them while working?

She's not being realistic, she doesn't live just down the road.

She has always been very me me me. I generally don't give into it however I do have massive soft spot for my nephew. I do want to see him more often but right now it's just not practical even if there wasn't a pandemic.

My sister did decide to move away she still complains though.

She's being ridiculous, and nothing you will say will appease her.

BIL's GF is the same with my MIL. DH was widowed when we met. DS1 was a small toddler. MIL, and his other Gran, did a lot of childcare to help DH rebuild his life. She hasn't done the same level for any of our children because it's not needed. BIL's GF is kicking off that she won't do 3 days a week for her - she's 19 years older, doesn't have FIL to support her anymore and actually lives with us now as she needs company.

Your DS is always going to compare. The distance makes her point absolutely ridiculous, but she'll convince herself that you'd have travelled for your other nieces/nephews.

Just be polite, but do not give in and do not doubt yourself.

Think it just a case of sour grapes for sister b. Of course relationship with older children can work on skype and not with three year old. And is so much more tiring and mentally exhausting with toddler - what’s this? What’s that? Why? But why? But why? Toddlers are awesome but hard going especially if you are restricted by disability. Sister b just can’t see that side of it. Just feels left out. But YANBU.

IF you felt up to it you could say 'Sister A is dropping DNs over on Monday for 6hrs and I will supervise them while I work, as there are three of them that is 2 hours each. I am happy to do the same for your ds so you can drop him to my house for his 2hrs on Saturday. Then it is all equal.'

She sounds ridiculous. You sound lovely and like you do a hell of a lot more/are more involved than literally any auntie or uncle I know!

She’s bonkers. My sil in a different way is the same. Because we don’t interact or pay for her kids like she did ours we are terrible. The fact is we never asked but as a young care free she enjoyed/offered such things as the cool aunty and if we said no to an offer to baby sit or whatever she would strop. Now she has hers we are obviously funding our own still and doing the day trips and she’s welcome to join but it’s not enough because we won’t just take hers With ours or without our own So Up to five in total to her taking one Of ours it’s not fair. Some people just don’t think like normal folks.

Sister is a CF. Show her this thread. Tell her you will babysit if she drops off and picks up.

Your sister needs to jog on!

She lives at LEAST 2.5 hours drive away, doesn't work, yet expects YOU to drive all that way to look after her kid for the day, then drive home again! While she does WHAT exactly?

You need to blandly tell her once more, "that doesn't work for me", and then completely disengage. Honestly? She sounds deranged.