To not feel guilty that my children are going school every day.

[Teasy29]

I have two who went back to school last week. Will only be for just over 3 weeks in total before the school holidays. They both have additional needs and EHCP’s so could have gone from March but I kept them off because I was able to stay home with them.

Dd is in reception anyway so her year group are back. DS is older and that in year groups going back but was given a full time space because he has an EHCP. I was told by the senco his space was set in stone. Even if I said I didn’t want him to go back yet they’d have to keep it for him. They prioritised vulnerable and EHCP children before anyone else apparently. I wasn’t taking a space off anyone else that may need it.

Now, my partner isn’t classed as a keyworker but he’s worked throughout the pandemic. I had been working ott time before lockdown but quit not long before as I was finding it really hard to balance things. Oh works long unsociable shifts, school meetings, hospital appointments and my children were really sick on and off for a month in feb so I had to give up work.

I did not send them back because I have to work nor did I send them back because I want the break (as nice as it is). I sent them because I felt it was important for them academically and socially. Both already behind compared to their peers. DS has autism and Dd has a speech disorder and a mild physical disability. Both with EHCP’s.

There’s someone who lives near me. I guess her husband is a key worker and shes been working from home. Her children have been given a space for 2 days a week - whilst she works at home. Fair enough.

But she said how unfair it was they were only given 2 days opposed to mine who got given 5 days when I don’t have to work.

I explained that having additional needs and being behind academically means that it’s really important they go back. The school were keen for them to go back as we weren’t getting much school work done at home. Also so they could spend time with their current teachers before September. For all sorts of reasons really and to prepare them for the next school term.

So yeah aibu to think that just because you haven’t got a job to go back to doesn’t mean you kid can’t go back full the time if they are entitled to it?

All of DS’s year group are back full time (in bubbles) so that’s irrelevant but DS really needs to be back. He’s suffered really badly with anxiety since lockdown!

A bit long, sorry!

I don’t have a job and two of mine are back. Don’t worry about it.

Wouldn’t give it a second thought. Not worth even wasting your time thinking about it,

It's impossible to please all of the people all of the time. Both mine are back - DD in reception and DS because he has a personalised education plan. Personally, I would have been quite happy if DD's place was shared with other children as she didn't need to go back as badly as DS did but I understand that the rules so reception, so off back she goes and yes, she is benefiting over others who may need it more.

DS is also benefiting but without it, things were getting worse and worse here. I am incredibly grateful and do believe his need to go back is in the group of those whose needs are most significant.

But of course I feel sorry for all other families who would like their kids to have gone back and who haven't been able to while mine have. And totally agree that one of my kids doesn't need it as much as some other kids/families. But it is what it is.

She’s not saying that she thinks yours should not be back full time

She’s saying she thinks it’s unfair that hers aren’t also back full time

I wouldn't be discussing it with her. None of her business.

Those working should definitely have priority. Many kids are going to find themselves behind and in any case, they are not doing proper learning right now.

I agree with your neighbour. The stress people face with their job and not getting solace is dreadful. Accommodating them should be a priority.

Nobodies else,s Buissness ,just to point out as an aside ,though that'.lots and lots of children with EHCP ,s have,nt been allowed in school since March either ,my sons special school has been closed since all schools closed and every single child has an EHCP.

@Atadaddicted

She’s not saying that she thinks yours should not be back full time

She’s saying she thinks it’s unfair that hers aren’t also back full time

Well she should keep her bloody opinion to herself, instead of trying to make the OP feel guilty.

Thanks all. @dontdisturbmenow I totally get your point but my son was given a place because has has learning difficulties!

I am unable to work now as I do not have childcare in the school holidays.

The school have given places to key workers children, albeit only a couple days a week for some children dependent on year group and space. DS did not take a space off them as he had a space the whole time (from March technically). Even if I didn’t want the space they’d have to keep it open for him. He is already 2 years behind his peers and any longer off school that gap is going widen even more.

* Well she should keep her bloody opinion to herself, instead of trying to make the OP feel guilty.*

Why? If chatting with a friend and not Saying that her children shouldn’t be at school but saying she wishes her own children could also be back?

There's lots of things that aren't fair at the moment. Fair doesn't have much to do with it. It's a pragmatic move to prioritise children with additional needs. She's right and, regardless, it's irrelevant.

Two seperate issues...

1. Should vunerable children, those with ECHPs etc be offered full time places- yes. It's in their best interests.

1. Should certain year groups have been priortised at the expense of others (outside of exam years) ... It's open to opinion. I think it would have been better to have had rotas rather than some year groups in and others not. The Government thought some years were more important than others. So the situation is that Reception children are in full time in a lot of schools while other children aren't.

Going forward, I find it abhorrent that access to education could be decided by parents employment status. Priortising childcare is different. But education should be a universal right.