To not want to go back to work?!

[MummaW88]

I’m due to return to work in around a month, DD will be 7.5 months. I will be working from home (at least initially due to COVID) but DD will be going to MIL’s and my mums on the days I’m working as my job is too hectic, and it wouldn’t be fair on her as I would be so distracted.

It will be part time, and I know I’m really fortunate to have family providing childcare. But I am totally dreading it to be honest I’m going to miss her so much but I’m more concerned about her missing me! Given the lockdown, she’s used to being at home with me the majority of the time and has become very clingy.

I’m so worried about it. I’ve been taking her to see both grandparents to get her used to seeing them and being at their homes. I’ve even left her briefly with my mum a couple of times; she was ok at first but did cry quite a bit while I was away.

Not going back to work isn’t an option unfortunately, but I wish it was! Is anyone else facing this situation? She will get used to it right? It breaks my heart to think of her crying because she just wants her mummy

It’s interesting how so many people have voted YABU and yet all the comments on here are saying I’m not is this usual Mumsnet behaviour? Thank you to everyone for your advice and reassurance so far

I've done it twice OP. Went back to work after both lots of mat leave when DC were about six/seven months. It's hard. I was emotional leaving them, especially DS1 because he was my first. But honestly, it gets so much easier. Your DC will be fine and so will you.

Thank you @Fatted I think it is because she’s my first, I haven’t toughened up to Mum Life yet lol I’m sure in a couple of months I’ll wonder what I was even worried about

My DD is now 20! She is home from Uni, and this actually came up a couple of weeks ago. She was talking about her old childminder, and I told her how her first day was etched in my mind because I walked off crying after her little arms came up and she said 'no-go-mama'.....BUT it's a mothers guilt isn't it? My DD doesn't remember, and yours will be fine to. I remember the initial separation, and I used to have to say to myself each day ''you're working to buy her shoes'' or ''this extra shift will pay for me to take her to the zoo'' and such like. It helped.

Stay off as long as you can. I went back when my son was 3 months old (short staffed so my boss told me, he actually rang me asking me to go back). I thought I was doing a great job being back so soon. Had to stop breast feeding as expressing was a nightmare. Worst mistake ever what a fool I was. They did pay me double.

Aww I feel your pain, my daughter is now 4 but when I returned to work after maternity I was awful. The build up to my 1st day back I was crying and wouldn't eat, the anxiety was the worst I had ever felt. She settled a few times in nursery and cried a lot so made me feel even worse but On our 1st days back she was amazing and loved every minute of it.
Can you not slowly start settling her with your mum and mil. Say maybe an hour or 2 a week each. So they get to no what your little one likes aswel. It will ease you in slowly. Good luck and honestly after your 1st day back you will be thinking why was I even that worried xx

Thank you @IsAnybodyListening I will try and think like that and see if it helps. Glad to hear it didn’t scar your DD for life lol!

@ToBBQorNotToBBQ I can’t stay off any longer I’ve used all my paid mat leave and some annual leave to extend it. I wish I could!

@Squeekybummum I was doing this before COVID, she’s seen her a couple of times and I did leave her there just for half hour today while I popped to the shop, there were tears (hers!) just have to keep doing it each week till I go back and hope she gets used to it. Poor bubba. Thank you