To not read a bedtime story?

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

DD is 8 nearly 9 - have always read to her at bedtimes unless we are having a late night, got friends round, special occasions that kind of thing but in general l read to her. BUT she is a great little reader herself, lovely and expressive, got good vocabulary etc so l know she can read to herself and l think it is a good habit to get into at bedtime but she just never wants to and tonight is freaking out because she is late to bed and needs to go to sleep so l said bit too late for a story. Told her l don't mind her reading to herself but she is screaming she wants me to. Writing this makes me sound really harsh and l do feel like maybe l have created this situation myself - not her fault she has always had one. Just made me wonder how old were your kids when you stopped reading to them and aibu thinking she could read to herself at bedtime?

Mine are 6 and 8 and read to me now. If they're tired we might share. I think they need somebody to listen to them read, but obviously some nights don't go to plan. They never really liked us reading them chapter books. In think they preferred the instant gratification of picture books.

It sounds like she really enjoys sharing a story with you at bedtime. Do you think she’s sad about not sharing that time with you?
As it’s a routine you’ve shared for a long time how about slowly weaning her onto reading to herself? Maybe start with taking turns reading a page. Then slowly build up to her reading by herself so she gets used to it? Just a thought. :)

We stopped reading to ours when they didn't want us to any more, it was older than 8, I can't remember, my husband thinks it might have been 12! It's a lovely time of day to spend together and is a chance to get any worries off their chests before they go to sleep. It's not just about reading, it's having some time alone together. I kind of miss it, my eldest doesn't even come downstairs to say goodnight any more!

Thanks everyone. Take the point about it being time together but she is an only child and l have been off work since March so we have had plenty of that😂. Yes might try a page each - don't want to wish her childhood away xx

I am very routine driven at bedtime myself - i have to go through my routine in a certain order or i can't get to sleep. Maybe she feels the same?

I cheat and do audiobooks with my 8 and 10 yr olds 😊 reading aloud irritates my throat.

I’m the same with my 8 year old DD, she can read but really doesn’t want to at the moment. I’m trying not to force her and I’ve started reading her a chapter a night at bed time which she enjoys. She asks for another chapter and I will say well you read one but she won’t. She’s an only child too.

Oh yes, she ALWAYS asks for another chapter!! Always tell her she can read more herself!! But she rarely does!

I'll always read to mine, until they ask me not to! If it's a late night we agree no stories in advance so there's warning. I wouldn't just not read to them.

Do you say yes if she asks for another chapter? Id do one chapter then say she can read another to you, then sleep. If she doesn't want to read the second chapter to you then lights out. Might be a way to compromise as i get the sense you'd rather not be stuck in her room reading chapters and chapters

Hmm, I read to my 8 year old, but if I said it’s too late and he couldn’t have one, there’s not a chance in hell he’d scream that he wanted a story - I think this is behaviour that needs nipping in the bud. Far too old for that kind of carry on.

I always say no to second chapter as there about 15 pages per chapter, l would be there all night!! But always tell her she can read to herself x

michaelbaubles she is not usually a screamer but after she did, l thought l can't now reward her with a story! I will talk to her in the morning about it. Not making excuses but she was shattered, bed time has slipped a bit since lockdown

Can you please explain your reason as to why it was OK for her to read to herself but not OK for you to read to her? Either it is too late for reading full stop or it isn't. I don't understand why it was OK for her to read herself but not for you to read to her?

Because l like to have a bit of an evening with my DH before he goes to bed to get up at 5am.

Mine were 12 and 16 when they gave up. I had some very odd reading experiences, going through a book reading one chapter in 3. It's not about practising reading, it's about shared time together.

Yes l understand the shared time thing....but we have literally spent the last 4 months together at home as l am off work and she is an only so not had to share me with a sibling but think she must enjoy it more than l realised x