To not read a bedtime story?

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

DD is 8 nearly 9 - have always read to her at bedtimes unless we are having a late night, got friends round, special occasions that kind of thing but in general l read to her. BUT she is a great little reader herself, lovely and expressive, got good vocabulary etc so l know she can read to herself and l think it is a good habit to get into at bedtime but she just never wants to and tonight is freaking out because she is late to bed and needs to go to sleep so l said bit too late for a story. Told her l don't mind her reading to herself but she is screaming she wants me to. Writing this makes me sound really harsh and l do feel like maybe l have created this situation myself - not her fault she has always had one. Just made me wonder how old were your kids when you stopped reading to them and aibu thinking she could read to herself at bedtime?

In two or three years you will want to read to her and she won’t want to know. I wish my children still wanted me to read to them and I regret every single time I said I was too busy, because now I would swap anything to be able to do it one more time...

Does she read to herself after you’ve read? We do a story from me (or currently a grandparent over zoom) and then they get to read for half an hour before lights out. Best of both then :)

Yanbu, but if she is a bit tired and grumpy probably not the best time to make changes. Made that mistake many times.

Read to her sometimes but not every night so she doesn't rely on that part of the routine so much. Suggest to her that you think she should also read alone at bedtimes and you will take turns maybe you read to her one night, she reads herself the next.

letsgetthisshowontheroad thanks - l wondered if someone might say that. I haven't stopped reading to her nightly as yet, only tonight l said no story, just story tape. I will keep it up and enjoy it while it lasts!

I think I would read to her just to settle her down for bedtime if she's freaking out? Bedtime stories are equally as brilliant no matter who is reading them!

Honestly, now is not the moment to have the argument. Read her a short story, so she calms down enough to get to sleep.

Tomorrow, or whenever, have a conversation with her earlier in the day, about not always being able to read to her from now on. Ask her what she suggests for a new bedtime routine. Work out a plan together. But don't spring it on her out of nowhere.

toomanyapplesinthefruitbowl only if she wants to - usually she can't be bothered but if it is a really good book and she wants to know what is going to happen!l always tell her she can read more if she wishes.

It’s probably not particularly the story but the time with you she wants.

Reading her a story now is more likely to get her to sleep quickly than letting her get all wound up about not having one. I’d read something really short and have a calmer talk to her about it tomorrow.

What’s stopping you wanting to keep reading to her while she still wants to? She won’t want to forever!

Bridgetreilly sorry should have said it isn't a massive shock to her - she knows if she is up later than usual,it is story tape rather than me reading but totally take your point, thank you x

DS usually refuses a story these days :(

But when it was an essential part of the routine, if we were late/I was pushed for time I would do just one page. So we would have that snuggly reading time even if we barely moved in the story.

purpledaisies not that l don't want as such, just think she would get a lot of pleasure from reading, just seems like such a chore to her. And pretty sure by that age l was reading to myself at her time. But yes a good point it might just be the time - even though we have spent all day together!! And the last 4 months lol!! Take the point though thanks x

I was a precocious reader. I could have read the books myself, and in some cases read many chapters ahead. But some of my happiest childhood memories are of my mother reading bedtime stories. If she still wants that time together, don't throw it away.

Read her a story if she wants one and then say she can read to herself for awhile before settling down. Perhaps she likes a bit of extra time with you when she's in bed.

Surely a nearly 9 year old shouldn't be 'screaming' at you to have a bedtime story ... I wouldn't be impressed with that behaviour.

ragwort....not usually a screamer - never in fact but has got overtired and a bit wound up.