Aibu to be worried about my son's development?

[User55783330102837]

My son is 22 months old. Due to a difficult birth he was starved of oxygen when he was born.

He started walking at 18 months and seems to be hitting most of his milestones ok.

What's concerning me is that he seems incapable of tipping up a cup/beaker/bottle and giving himself a drink. We've tried lots of different types of cups with different handles but he just can't seem to get it at all. He will scream for a drink while holding onto his cup but won't tip it himself. We've tried tipping it into his mouth while he's holding it, but he still doesn't get it.

Is this normal?

Is this the inly thing you have noticed that he isnt doing?

Can you try a beaker with a straw?

Pretty much the only thing.

I was worried about his walking but once he took off at 18 months he's been very steady on his feet.

If thats the only thing and he has no other issues with his muscle strength and tone, try not to worry to much.

Definitely try and introduce a beaker with a straw.

If you are concerned or it doesnt improve.
Talk to your gp

Try him with a skip hop straw cup.

Does he go to nursery? I just wondered what he does when with anyone else.
Can he pull a hat off, or a vest off over his head?
Does he feed himself?

On its own I don’t think it’s too concerning. Is there anything else you feel he is struggling with or just this. What is his play like? Is he able to stack a few bricks or a few duplo/megabkocs together? Can he shake something like a rainmaker or shaker? Is he starting to feed himself with a spoon or anything and if so how is he doing? Can he get the spoon from the bowl to his mouth without too much difficulty?

My DD had respiratory distress syndrome and was very unwell and in NICU for 2 weeks after she was born. She has dyspraxia maybe as a result of it. She was generally very uncoordinated - unable to throw/catch a ball with any accuracy, dropped things, tripped over more than usual and bumped into things. That was back in the day when there was no knowledge of dyspraxia so it was only with hindsight it made me wonder if these things were related to her birth and time in NICU.

If you are unsure there is no harm at all in talking to your HV or GP about it. If he’s doing fine with everything else and it’s literally just sorting out what he needs to do with a cup I’d just keep an eye on him for now but if there’s anything else around his fine motor skills in particular or you just feel this needs checking out, I’d get some advice.

He doesn't go to nursery.

No, doesn't feed himself with a spoon. I've never noticed him try to take a hat or vest off.

I think his play is ok, but I don't really have anyone his age to compare him to. He was a very laid back baby and didn't really move about too much. He was very happy to just sit in his high chair or walker. He complains when I'm changing his nappy but he doesn't try to wiggle away from it.

His speech is good and he's very affectionate and cuddly.

assuming you've tried a doidy cup I'd be putting stickers and smallish toys e.g. blocks inside cups and pots and things for him to find, perhaps string a colander so he has to tip to get them

Could he feed himself with a spoon or is it that you don’t offer it to him? Can he play with age appropriate toys? Can he pull open a drawer or take any clothes off?

I think I’d contact the health visitor if I were you just for reassurance.

Thanks for the ideas Di11y. I will try them.

He just doesn't seem interested in feeding himself so I do it for him.

I think i will contact the HV. Thanks for all of your input.

Perhaps see if he would and really praise him if he does, start mealtimes by saying he’s going to try and feed himself today and see if he does.
Hope you’re able to get some advice x

My eldest was never able to tip a cup properly at that age. We used munchkin straw cups and he got on fine with them. He’s 3 now and drinks fine, I’m not sure when he managed it. If you have no other concerns I wouldn’t worry about this.

I’m sure the GP wouldn’t mind referring to paediatrics first a check up considering his birth?
I’d recommend showing him hand-over-hand repeatedly even when it is easier to do it for him. It will help his body learn the motion/movements.

Get him doing lots of hand based play. Play-Doh or plasticene squeezing, toys where you post items like shape sorters or thread things, initially on sticks then on laces. Toys with fastenings. Building towers of bricks or stacking cups. Give him small items to eat - raisins are ideal, and grated cheese - and see if he can make a pincer grip to pick items up. Also big chubby chalks on the pavement or marker pens on paper, do it hand on hand to start and see if you can get him mark making. Do several of these activities each day and see if he is able to develop mastery of the physical part of the task (Don't worry so much at his age about the cognitive parts, like whether he gets stacking cups in size order correctly). Give it a month and if he isn't progressing at all I would, given that he had a difficult birth, be talking to a health visitor.

Good luck 😊

Hi OP, have you tried putting something really yummy like apple juice in the cup and show it to him first - might incentivise him? Also have you tried putting raisins or something small in the bottom of a cup to try and get him to tip it to get them out?

My middle son was like this for a while, we just used a straw cup. He is 7 now with no issues.

I would give him lots of opportunities to practice, cups in the bath to pour(mine used to have a go at drinking the bathwater), a tub of dry rice and cups and scoops to poor, playdough to get him using his fine motor skills. Give him a fork and spoon with every meal, give him the opportunity to do it himself even if it is messy, only help after a while if he isn’t trying himself and then you do one spoon and he has a turn.

Normal play for this age might be:
Ride along toys that you scoot with your feet (not pedals)
Peg puzzles with thick wooden cut out shapes.
Painting or scribbling in big circles.
Going up and sliding down a toddler slide.

Eating simple finger foods eg banana, biscuit, sandwich, diced cheese, independently.

It may be that he just likes you to do it for him, so don’t worry. Your HV should be able to reassure you.

Thanks everyone for all of the hints and tips. I really appreciate all of the input and will be giving them a go.

It's quite a complex thing to drink from an open cup- it's a bit of cause and effect (pouring, gravity, tipping) and a lot of motor skills and positioning awareness.

Break it down into little steps and make it fun- strip him off, get in clothes that you don't mind getting wet and grab a few saucepans/buckets/beakers and stuff filled with water, or a water table if you have one.

Pour from cup to cup, pour over your hands, pour into a colander or funnel. Let him splash and drink. Toy teacups are good- let some of his toys drink (this is where dolls are good!!). It'll come when he's ready!

It's good you're being proactive now x

A toddler cup/bottle with a straw.

Get peas and small objects and put them into a pot or tub. It'll be a game for him to get them out and will let you see how he is. Also abacus is great for them to play with the beads and move them along.

Lots of finger foods so he has to. Get him some bright crockery/cutlery or themed of his interests such as dinosaurs, cars, dolls (whatever he likes) and get him to use a spoon. Something thick like yoghurt to start.

Painting either with fingers or sponges.
Crayons for lots of scribbles. Or markers seem to be more appealing in this house.
Use his fingers lots to count to ten. Encourage pointing and gesture games.

When my kids were little we had an underbed storage box filled with dried rice and beans - kidney beans, butter beans etc. We would set it out and they would drive their cars and trains in it, scoop it, rake it etc. In nursery they also use shaving foam or squirty cream on the high chair table to make finger patterns in.