to be annoyed that im 'expected' to have more children?

[mimi03]

ok so expected may be the wrong word...but the MIL and others keep saying...'its early days yet , u will change your mind' and im thinking no i bloody wont. then the comment was made that 'i think its selfish to only have one child' to which i snapped back ' iam selfish and the idea of going back to square one horrifies me' i said it partly for shock value but partly cos its true. i love my ds more than life itself, butone is enough thanks!

It's nobody else's business - do what you want to do. I do find it amazing that people feel they can criticise other peoples' choices.

So if you have no children or just one child you are selfish.

If you have 2, that's just about acceptable (though of course it is unethical to have kids because of the burden on the planet)

If you have 3, the eyebrows start to raise.

If you have 4 or more, why can't you keep your legs together? Irresponsible breeder!

So the consolation should be - whatever you do, it will be wrong in someone's eyes - just ignore it.

I am an only child (though I do have a half sister much much older than me who never lived with me) and have an only son who is almost 5.

YANBU - If you've tried nice answers and they haven't worked then you may have to be more honest.

I wanted more than two but have fertility problems and ended up having to tell people that to shut them up. How many children you have is your choice and no one else has any right to an opinion (apart from DH )

We have also had a "cruel", along with "one of each is perfect" and many others.

I find the best thing to do is simply ask "why?" as in..."why do you want us to have another child?" usually stumps them, especially if they don't see your child very often.

fwiw - dp and I are ttc-ing for number 4.

Half mentioned it to my mum in passing and she was horror-struck.

"you can't have any more! Three's enough!"

Tis nobody's business if you have one, fourteen, or none at all.

Tis not selfish to have one. Tis probably more selfish to have more kids (not that I'm worrying about that, you understand) When they start on you, tell them that it is early days, and you may well change your mind, but then again... you may not and that is YOUR decision.

You can't do anything right for other people. I did say I was never having anymore after the first one..

Once we had One of Each everyone told us that we didn't need to have any more. With 4 the constant comments were "not having any more I hope?" and "found out what's causing it yet?".

People are just very rude and think they are entitled to comment. They aren't. It is up to you and your DH to have as many or as few children as you want and nobody else's business. It certainly isn't selfish.