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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeling guilty for getting angry with my son

18 replies

tiredmum29 · 04/07/2020 22:34

NC for this. DS is 17 months old and teething. Tonight he would not settle, non stop screaming for over an hour and a half, both in his cot and in my arms. He was inconsolable and nothing I was doing was working. I could feel myself getting really frustrated so put him in his cot, shouted something along the lines of, "I don't know what to fucking do for you" and shut the door on him and left him crying in the room whilst I sat in the lounge to calm down. He is asleep now and I feel absolutely terrible and like a shitty mother. :( I am on my own with him and my 5 year old and lockdown has been really crap. I love my kids so much and feel really shit about my behaviour tonight. Just needed to vent. :(

OP posts:
YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 04/07/2020 22:38

I don’t think there’s a mother out there who hasn’t had at least one moment like this.

Get some sleep and it will all seem better in the morning. The fact he fell asleep after you left him makes me think he was overstimulated and needed to crash. The teething times are hard.

Be kind to yourself.

concernedforthefuture · 04/07/2020 22:38

We've all been there Thanks.

concernedforthefuture · 04/07/2020 22:38

We've all been there Thanks.

Laserbird16 · 04/07/2020 22:39

Did I write this in a sleep deprived state?

I had to do some deep breathing last night after being bitten on the nipple and smashed in the face with the thermometer.

Teething is awful, you are tired and frustrated. Getting some space to regroup is exactly the right thing to do.

This will pass Flowers

Delbelleber · 04/07/2020 22:42

The moment has passed now and the lasting effects are worse on you than your ds. Just learn from it and next time handle it better.
I know I've had some really shitty regrettable moments in the past. Flowers

Pinkchocolate · 04/07/2020 22:48

Don’t be so hard on yourself, sometimes leaving the room is the best thing you can do. Don’t sweat it, we live and learn (and feel the mum guilt forever more).

Tabbycat92 · 04/07/2020 22:49

We've all been there, and I still have these moments now! I'm sure your mum did too, but I doubt you remember them, the same way your son won't remember it.
At the end of the day you did the right thing, you walked away and let yourself calm down. Granted you shouted, but he wouldn't have known what you said.
Give yourself some credit, the fact that you're feeling bad about it proves its a one-off, and you're in fact an incredible mother!

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 04/07/2020 22:50

Don’t be hard on yourself

We have all been there and you are on your own there is no break it’s really hard

Have some chocolate 🍫 and a little wine 🍷 (or tea)

AuntyPasta · 04/07/2020 22:52

You did exactly the right thing. You left him safely in his cot and went to calm down.

BetteDavisWeLuvU · 04/07/2020 22:53

We've all been there. FlowersGin

MamaGothel · 04/07/2020 22:53

I agree with Yippee, he was probably over stimulated. Don't worry, get some rest and try to have more patience tomorrow. I had many nights like this when my children were the same age. You did the right thing in putting some distance between the two of you, please don't be hard on yourself.

LittlemissAWOL · 04/07/2020 22:54

We've all been there op.
You'd reached your limit and needed to go and calm down. He was in his cot and he was safe and had he still been unsettled when you went back you would have seen to him.
You did the right thing.
Hope you have a better night tomorrow Thanks

Ohnoherewego62 · 04/07/2020 22:56

A trick in future may be a bath? I don't know why but it seems to reset the wires when mine is having an off evening.

You done the right thing giving yourself that space. Hope you're both OK now!

GrowingUpIsATrap · 04/07/2020 22:58

I think leaving the room to calm down was a great idea. It's so hard dealing with a baby who won't stop crying, especially when you're on your own and you have another child to look after.

We all have days where we think we could have done better, i certainly do.

Parenting is really hard! Please don't beat yourself up.

Original poster
tiredmum29 · 04/07/2020 23:01

Thanks everyone, definitely feeling a lot better after reading your responses Smile

OP posts:
Cauterize · 04/07/2020 23:02

Don't fret OP, I'd be more amazed if there was a mother who hadn't ever lost their shit at some point. Yes you'll feel incredibly guilty after, that's normal, but we all have our limits.

I think that trying hard to settle them can actually have the opposite effect, in that it makes them even more hysterical for some reason!

Anyway don't beat yourself up. Just give him a big cuddle in the morning.

Stella8686 · 04/07/2020 23:22

I've been there too! Best thing you did was get out of the room. You're no good when you're at breaking point

Sending love Thanks

Summercamping · 04/07/2020 23:37

Yup, been there. Kids are thriving in spite of me Grin. Your kids will thrive too

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