Presents for friends’ kids - what would you do??

[Pumpcushion]

I’ve got myself in a mess with ‘protocol’ and really don’t know what to do. My small group of ‘best’ friends all bought my DS a first birthday present, as I did theirs. I haven’t bought subsequent birthdays. One has another now about to turn 1, their eldest has a birthday around the same time. If I get the 1st birthday present, I can’t really not get their sibling one can I?! But if I do that, I haven’t bought all my other friends kids for al their birthdays and I’m being unfair. There are a few options - none ideal. What would you do in this situation to avoid offending anyone or being unfair? Or am I overthinking? Help!

Hopeful Bump...

Just ask your mates what they want to do?

Depending on the age gap and budget, could you get something that could be shared? Maybe a smal slide for the garden?

That way older kid doesn't feel left out, but it's only one gift, same as other families

Or tickets to a local attraction? It's really for the one year old, but older is getting a day out as well, so still happy.

I'd buy for both and then revert to whatever your previous arrangement was.

Buy a “proper” present for the 1-year-old, and a more nominal one for the older sibling (colouring in book, or felt tips, or sweeties- that kind of thing). Enough that the older one doesn’t feel left out, but not enough to be a “fancy” gift.

I buy for friends kids until they turn 18. Did you have an arrangement with friends to only buy for the first birthday or did you just randomly not buy them a 2nd birthday gift? I would probably discuss it otherwise it will seem odd to buy one and not the other.

I would get a book token or colouring book or sunglasses.....just a token thing.
I wouldn't make anything of it to anyone just pop it in the same gift bag.

No didn’t discuss it I just thought it would all get a bit much to do all birthdays for all of them

I feel too awkward to be honest as I’m not sure what everyone else is doing and now I haven’t bought everyone for every birthday I can’t really start now, nor do I want to really as there are lots of kids and I have lots of family and kids to buy for too. And where does that end, as I then have other friends not in the same group that I don’t buy for kids either

Buy for both, but just a small token present for the older child.

Just buy for the first birthday and explain that you've done it for everyone but that will be all, but choose something that the older child will enjoy too. Perhaps be a bit late or early giving it too, so that the older child doesn't associate it with the birthday.

Then stop, or as you say it gets expensive and out of hand.

Just buy for the 1st birthday. It’s not your job to be fair to the other child - that’s for the parents to do

Just stick to buying the first birthday present. The sibling will get plenty of presents off other people.
You really need to stick to your guns or this will spiral and you’ll be buying everyone presents !

I think you over thinking it.
If going to a party or birthday celebration bring some treats all kids can sit around & eat. If you really wanted something extra for the birthday kid give them a balloon. Or a book they can all get enjoyment from.
In fairness if your 'friends' are watching who got what when think it is time to cut them.
Multiple children here at times friends have given presents usually don't. At this stage house has too much stuff so I prefer not to see presents coming.

I only have one friend whose 2 kids I buy for. I have been best friends with the mum for well over 20 years, and am close with the dad as well. I see the kids about once a fortnight/once every 3 weeks, and I've always been "Auntie Zingally". They are like family.
For now, my budget as been £15 per child for birthdays and Christmas, but they're only 3, so not expensive tastes. Thought I might go up to £20 per kid from this coming Christmas.

I've never done anything for other friends kids. If I was invited round for a party, I'd do a card and token gift, but otherwise I don't bother. Honestly, I'd struggle to tell you even when the birthdays of my other friends kids even are.
Even my cousins kids don't get a present. I sent a card and present when they were born and/or Christened, and might do a card and a bit of cash when they hit a milestone birthday, but that's it.

I don't buy for others kids apart from for their christening or first birthday as it is too expensive for me and wouldn't want them to buy for me either.

I’ve stopped buying for friends kids. One of my friends has 6 kids, others have 2 and some have 3. It was getting ridiculous and I was buying a gift almost every week so I stopped. It was fine, I don’t expect them to buy for my kids either. It’s all good and no one gets upset

I'd buy nice present for the 1 year old as usual, then give the older child something like a small colouring in book, crayons and sweets.