AiBU to feel envious/ jealous of ladies around me being pregnant or with a newborn?

[Blacktiewithadrinkinhand]

When I say ladies I mean my close friends and those further afield in a wider friendship group.

I guess I know i am aibu and I don't entirely understand my own jealous feelings? I am 31 so I am at the age whereby a lot of my friends of a similar age are either pregnant or cradling their newborns. I feel jealous and envious and find myself wishing I was pregnant. Does this make me sound like a bitter cow?

I know i am only 31 and I still have time on my hands. I have health anxiety and I have a massive fear that I won't be able to have children. I am currently having some health checks after suffering some stomach / abdominal pains and I have convinced myself i am infertile. Even typing that makes me feel upset worrying about the results. I am sorry if this offends anyone that has struggled conceiving. Here I am worrying about a problem that may not even exist, I want to kick myself sometimes! I'm not sure whether this contributes to my jealous feelings? I find myself getting extremely broody and I really fear that my dream of having children will not ever happen. My good friend is having a socially distanced family gender reveal party tonight and I hate the fact that I feel a bit flat about it (I know this makes me a terrible friend doesnt it?) I wish i didn't feel this way!

I am in a long term relationship but unfortunately we aren't in the position to ttc yet due to a number of factors and set backs but, but hope to in the next couple of years, fingers crossed!

Perhaps it might be useful to ask for any advice on how to deal with these feelings and better myself? Has anyone else felt this way? Aibu to feel like this?

OP- the doctor thought I might be infertile due to PCOS and due to what was basically a DIY abortion in my teens, which had caused some damage to my uterus.

I remember getting very annoyed with people who reassured me it'd be no problem - & I know that it doesn't happen for everyone. But I think maybe there's a balance where diminished chances and current childlessness can be grieved whilst not giving up hope for the future.

DD (20m) is currently creating chaos and DS (36w) is using my bladder as a punchbag... and I wish you the same joy and chaos and totally-worth-it-irritations in future, whilst sending lots of sympathy for now.

@Flythedragons sorry to hear about your pregnancy loss. Thank you so much for the advice

@friedascarload oh gosh, I'm not surprised you were worried you would not be able to conceive but I am so happy that things worked out for you! I imagine you must have been nervous to ttc. I hate feeling this way, having some more tests next week so hoping that it will put my mind at ease, but in the meantime I am anxious! Managed to convinced myself i have PID which has caused damage but knowing me it will be the anxiety talking!